#165: TyrannoThesaurus Rex

White and gold. That's all I'm gonna say. Anyway, here's my new character: the TyrannoThesaurus Rex! Long, long ago in the Vocabulassic Period, this literate lizard stomped across the prehistoric plane amongst Verblociraptors and PastTensedactyls. But after the period meteor struck Earth, it marked the end of the ol' T.T. Rex's time in this world. That is, until now. Down in his library lair, the diabolical Word Smith has found a way to resurrect this pronoun predator and is now using it in his scheme for world word domination. You know that time you said that words can't hurt you? Think again.

!ANNOUNCEMENT OF TRIPPY PROPORTIONS!

As you without a doubt already know, I've been known to add some healthy confusion to my blog by taking full advantage of the shared universe. Well, ol' Jakey McBloggypants is up to his old tricks. Introduciiiiing - imaginary drumrollllll - MULTIVERSE! A limited series of characters coming to Jacob's Characterz! this March! It will consist of other-dimensional versions of old blog characters of mine. Bad guys might be good. Good guys might be bad. In another dimension, I might be normal (highly unlikely). But I won't be doing this alone. From now until the end of the series, I'm calling on all you awesome readers and animator pals of mine to post your ideas for which characters I should include and how, in the comments on this very post. Go ahead, folks! The floodgates are open!

LINKS ARE HAPPENING

My excellent friend Lydia may be best known on the blog for her character, #22: Donn, but do you know she has an awesome blog of her own? It's called Createjewels and it kicks my butt in view count. I'm so proud! I really suggest you check out her awesomeness down at Polyvore. Now, without further ado, the link. Enjoy, guys!
http://createjewels.polyvore.com/

#164: Rodge Cosmos

You haven't seen anything until you've seen your dad impersonating Cher. You want to look away, but you can't. You just can't. Here's another character: Rodge Cosmos! In 1954, a brave dippy-do astronaut named Rodge Cosmos was sent into the abyss of space by UNDEROO to explore the starry new frontier. He was set. He was equipped with everything he might've needed. A fazer gun in case he ran into evil. A helmet for oxygenless atmospheres. A rose in case he ran into a stunning green miss on the slither for amour. But on his quest, he got stuck in a time vortex and was spit back out where he came in after, say, 60 years. This sent the guy, unaware of the time that had past, flying back in the direction of Earth. 2014 Earth. A place that he is now convinced is an alien planet, and where he is roaming around Manhattan as we speak. True story. Will he find out he is actually home or will he forever be living in the chaos of "Planet Manhattan?" Tune in later for the amazing conclusion of Rodge Cosmoooooos! *Heroic ditty*

#163: The Atlantis City Saltwaters

Okay everybody, here are my new characters: the Atlantis City Saltwaters! When wondering who to root for in the dribbling domain of basketball, there's a lot of teams to choose from: the Lakers, the Heat, Tune Squad from Space Jam, etc. But amongst that lot, one group of athletic aqua-dudes surely have my vote. Meet the Saltwaters, the official NBA team for the underwater city of Atlantis. These guys have everything. Gill'd skills to pay the bills, Mervin the Merman as a mascot, and aquariums-worth of adoring fans. With Poseidon as their coach, these splishy-splashy superstars are a force to be reckoned with. Home games back at their stadium, the Dunk Tank, aren't exactly easy though. It's kinda tricky for human players to play a good game in scuba suits. It doesn't really gel.

#162: Blurg Shneeblur: The 567th President of the United States

The President addresses the nation - and addresses his height issue by standing on a pile of gripping novels behind his podium.

Sorry for the pathetically small spattering of posts I've been doing for you guys as of late. I've been busy writing my comic book, watching movies and working on a freakishly detailed Idea Wiki page for a Jimmy Neutron 2018 film. Anyway, here is a late President's Day gift for you guys: Blurg Shneeblur! In this day and age, we're seeing an awesome deal of diversity. So much so that in the future, our great nation elects this guy as the first extraterrestrial president! Representing the Flérff party, President Shneeblur does many great things in his 2 terms, such as adding Yoda to Mount Rushmore, issuing the PhoneHomecation Proclamation, and abolishing the government's unpaid alien labor force that I might get arrested for letting you know about. Residing in Washington DC in his U.F.O.O. (Unidentified Flying Oval Office), this leader of the free galaxy is a 3-toed, scaly step in a bright new direction. He's definitely the first Prez to say his Oath of Office in Shoobaflexian, I know that.

#161: The Terrible Hairible

SPIDER-MAN. MARVEL STUDIOS. IT'S HAPPENING. I am heading the campaign for my crush Molly Quinn from Castle to play MJ. If this happens, my brain will explode from happiness. Jacob brains will be everywhere. Anywho, here's my new character: the Terrible Hairible. (Yeah. It's my hair. If I'm gonna have long stupid hair until I get it cut tomorrow, I might as well make a blog post out of it while it's here. That's just good business.) This monster mop resides in the jungles of Scalpia, bringing a hairy end to any travelers attempting to explore the area. People have tried to contain it. All have failed. But according to legend, only a great scissored hero known as Cathicus Curlicus can slay the Terrible Hairible and bring peace to the Scalpian region - and luckily, that day is tomorrow in our universe! It feels kinda like the Frabjous Day in the 2010 Alice in Wonderland. Someone needs to futterwacken vigorously and then it'll be complete.

BAD-OFF VII COMMERCIAL

Bad-Off VII has gotten such a rocking response from all you websters that I really think we could have the most votes ever on a Bad-Off poll this time. So, to push for this goal, I've decided to rally up the troops in the most Hollywood way possible. I made a fancy trailer with explosions in it. Roll the film!

PERRY THE VLADYPUS MEME

Idea courtesy of my wonderful wackjob of a sis, the Mustache Ninja.

#160: Eon the HexRabbit

Does anybody know where I can get one of those zip-up hoodie masks but with an owl face on it? No further explanation will be given on why I need this beyond me saying it has to do with bringing a hooting Walmart vigilante to life. Egad, I've said too much. Okay, here's my new character: Eon the HexRabbit. HexRabbits - scientifically known as Abracus Dabarcus. Native to the distant outer rim of the JC-Verse, these little guys live, breathe and sweat pure magical essence. How this one ended up in our good ol' Milky Way is a mystery not even Duck-tective on Gravity Falls could solve. Eon is being constantly chased by the collective bunch of dark warlocks attempting to harness his magic for galactic domination, and sleazy space hunters looking to sell his various limbs and such on the black market. But with help from that trusty portal hat of his, he always manages to outrun them. Interesting fact: magicians used to put HexRabbits in their hats to give them the powers they needed for their acts. That's right, people. It wasn't always a magic cliche.