#247: Spectacula

     Just so you know, guys, I am currently working on about two animations for your consumption. No spoilers, but one actually has words. That's right. We're moving on up. To the east side. But until I finish one of those puppies, here's a new character: Spectacula! There's a lot of fuss over vampires in the JC-Verse. Maybe its something about that stark juxtaposition of glamour and desire to mercilessly feed on unsuspecting prey, or maybe it's just that things that came from Europe are naturally better (examples include the hamburger and Benedict Cumberbatch). Well, whatever the reason, vamps have managed to mantain their very "in" status in JC-Verse pop culture for quite the while, so much so as to often trigger massive style trends - see "emo" - and stay in favor even through the Stephanie Meyer incident. But of all the prominent vamps out there, one is arguably the most known, most influential, and most likely to have this wiped from the web if I don't make him the center of this post. And that, dear readers, is Spectacula. First having hit the runway in the '90s, when humanoid, kung-fu-practicing turtles made a vampire model a pretty tame idea by comparison, Spectacula was probably the first openly-bloodsucking celeb in the mainstream eye. With his exotic Transylvanian appearance and, um, eclectic style, people couldn't seem to get enough of this guy. With companies jumping at the chance to have the fanged fashionista sport their designs, soon he became a household name, and he still is today. Spectacula always knows what to do, and when to do it in order to resurge in relevance again and again, and he feeds on the attention like a pint of O positive. PS, if anyone's wondering why I keep putting his name in italics, it means it's being whispered. Pretty positive it's an unspoken rule in the JC-Verse that you have to whisper his name with alluring flare whenever you say it.

HARK! MONOTONE!

     Real quick. I figured that I should post the pre-color version of ol' Rallister due to the fact it looks, in my and the personal focus group that is my mother's opinion, pretty nifty. Enjoy! Now if you 'scuse me, I must return to the heat of battle on Agar.io. War waits for no man.

#247: Rallister the Reptilian

     Howdy, mortals. I don't think I have anything clever or particularly noteworthy to share with you about my own life as of late. But I feel I need something here to meet that nasty interlude quota, so on behalf of my sister, here's a picture of a shiba inu:

That enough substance for you? Okay, onto the character. Ladies and gents, Rallister the Reptilian! You know, in 2015, a university study showed that world domination is the most common choice of diabolical schemes among villains. You didn't know? Well, that's because I made that up. But still, world dom is a pretty unstoppable strategy for a bad guy -- and few pull it off with as much efficiency and undeniable suave-ocity as the JC-Verse's own Rallister the Reptilian. Born from an alien-brand experimentation program that set up shop in my very own Southern California, Rallister was once just a simple lizard specimen you'd see doing those weird push-up things on your driveway. But after only a couple weeks of rapid development following being exposed to who-knows-what, the king-sized lab rat of a reptile already had matching brains-and-brawn big enough to escape the place, and leave it and its crew in a, um, not-to-stellar condition. Won't go into the deets in case any of you are as big a wussy as I. So what did he do after? Well, he spiffied up, gave himself a good ol' name of his own choosing, and looked out at us humans. And that's when he decided that planet Earth could use a change of management. So, with an extravagantly evil agenda on his mind and a calm and cold demeanor to match his bloodstream, Rallister the Reptilian has spent the last year quietly taking out as many pivotal people in the system as he can, and as scary as it is, it's only a matter of time until he reaches the top. And when he does, I think it'll be safe to say 10 points to Slytherin. I mean, for reals here, people, he should practically be their house mascot.

#246: Superior Sebaster: Ruler of TrueTerra

(Shout out to Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns Batman for initially inspiring this guy's bold-logo'd, bulky look.)

    I know it's necessary, but school leading up to a big test is kind of like an alien parasite. It latches onto you, drains you of life and energy, and reanimates what's left of you to do the cruel exercises it so desires. But thankfully, I am close to prying it from my skull with a mighty crowbar. And that crowbar's name is Friday. So, with the weekend almost upon us, I am finally given some time to sit down and post a fellow I wanted to have posted by Monday. Ladies and gentlemen, my newest character: Superio Sebaster! For every nutjob in existence, there are at the least 10 other nutjobs to act as his/her followers. This seems like a fitting place for a Trump joke, but I feel the Orange One is a bit old hat in the chuckles department at this point. Anyway, this rule of nutjobbery applies nontheless to the JC-Verse, and one shining example is Superior Sebaster of TrueTerra. While most of the population welcomed Fantastical Lifeforms like Zowie and the Juppies when they arrived, hardcore religious man Sebaster saw them as a plague on mankind. He believed that this planet was intended for us warm-blooded homo sapiens and us alone, and that such a forthcoming of odd otherworldy creatures occuring here was a sign of something bad. Like, the end of the world as we know it. And he was not feeling fine. *baddum crash* (Anyone? No? Okay then). Well, wrathful and ready to react, he slapped on a fancy blue tactical uniform, took to an uninhabited island off the West Coast, and set up shop. He proclaimed the place TrueTerra, a home for those who wish to follow him in maintaining a "pure" human society with him as its "Superior", or leader. Sure enough, a whole busload of fellow paranoia peeps joined him, and the society of TrueTerra is now a serious thing in the JC-Verse, sometimes even going volatile and sending small "Terran" task forces out to spread their message and exterminate high-profile FLs. Man. Some pretty heavy stuff. Cue Doc Brown:

I BARE GIFTS.

     I felt like I should reassure you, good people of the internwebs, that I am working on a new character, and that I have not left you all for a simpler, sans-wi-fi life among the rolling hills and peaceful meadows of yonder. Or gone into a self-imposed state of hybernation until Civil War comes out. But fear not, because while I don't have a character prepared just yet, I do finally have my WonderCon video up on the old 'Tube. There's highjinks, Pop! dolls, obscure references - you actually get to see my face! Not positive if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but still. Probably depends.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R71GCZxVo3c

     And if those three minutes leave you unsatisfied and you for some reason want more, I've got that covered. Ladies and gents, Distraction Roulette! Six options. Each something odd and ideally entertaining to keep you occupado until I formulate my next character. Click at random and let the fates take charge. No spoilers, but I promise at least one wizard. Have at it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

OPTION 1
OPTION 2
OPTION 3
OPTION 4
OPTION 5 
OPTION 6

 *resulting levels of hilarity/cofusion may vary