#268: The Curators

     Guess who's got two thumbs and some inflamed bronchi? *points to thyself* Fear not, it's been three weeks and I'm essentially better at this point, but the cough's still sticking around. But then again, Kubo and the Two Strings is up for the Oscar, so what the heck am I complaining about? Anyways, enough about me. Time for the first official character(s) of 2017: the Curators! Museums are fun. Nowhere else can you see the skull of a neanderthal and have a distinguished animatronic pelican teach you about bird anatomy in the same building. They show you the past, and that lets you predict the future--but when push comes to shove, how efficient is that? Wouldn't it be so much easier on our part if museums cut out the middle man and let us look tomorrow straight in the eye? Agree with it or not, that is the philosophy of the Curators, a class of hyper-intellegent rodentia from the planet Crasifilon. Using their advanced knowledge of 4th dimensional physics and snazzy architecture, they've set up shop on good ol' Planet Earth and founded the Transgalactic Reverse-Museum! Come one, come all, and get an up-close gander at a variety of artifacts, archival footage, art, and more from the future of ANY planet of your choice. Storing up to a thousand years of futurey goodness at a time across its ten floors, the Transgalactic Reverse-Museum has all the charm of time travel, without the risk of becoming a molecular smoothie. Most tickets are usually reserved for worried rulers and heroes from across the cosmos looking to prevent future calamities, but there are still plenty up for grabs. The only fee is the "divine knowledge of the museum's existence," so, you're already set. You're welcome.

(Fun fact: that handy lever in the back is the Century Alternation Switch, which allows you to shift between century-specific sets of rooms without the main hall--or you--moving an inch. Suck on that industrial-sized lemon, elevators.)

A.D. 2017

     A new sensation fills the air. An inexplicable urge to sustain tourism possesses you, and Spider-Man, Thor, Wonder Woman, and a semi-geriatric Wolverine wave at you in the distance. Could it be? Yes, it could. And it is. Because we are now living in the year 2017! *stirring fanfare* We're already a week in, and the year's looking pretty spiffy, all things considered. Also, today's 1/7/17, which I find incredibly entertaining for some reason. Something about number coincidences, dangit. They get me every time. Anyway, now that all that's been established, let's start off the new year with a little 2016 send off that I whipped up. Made me pretty proud going through my year in posting to make it. Farewell 2016, and here's to the next 358 days of making the world a weirder place! Hasta la pasta!