#99: The Pachyderminator

Okay, now that I've been sufficiently befuddled by Desmond on America's Got Talent, here's my latest character: the Pachyderminator! Hundreds of years from now in an old Hoboken laboratory, the dying-out Illuminotsomuch (see #92) attempts to send a robotic "Super-Guido" back in time to change the event of their epic downfall. They try droids, Stuff R Us mannequins and even a giant Cheeto-Bot, but nothing seems to work. Tony eats the last one. Thinking the Illuminotsomuch are destined to be outshined by the Illuminati, St3ve the 28th sits in his dude-cave, laying eyes on his pet African Elephant, Deandre. Oh, but then, THEN it hits him. So after being "tricked out" by a genius inventor they found on Angie's List, Deandre becomes the Pachyderminator, the face of the Illuminotsomuch, changing the past in their favor and displaying a distinctive "Dumbo gone rogue" vibe. Follow me if you want to live. Or if you want peanuts, whatever.