#175: BŪND

So, after digging through my old files of drawings, I found a character that I made when I was young. I figured this character was such a peculiar novelty that he needed a story. So, ladies and gentlemen, here he is: Būnd. In DaPizzo, a small European country full of pantaloons that hasn't changed since the Renaissance, the greatest of all were the LaBaffi Brothers. They were artists. They were smartest. They could do anything except not do anything. How were those famed siblings that great, you ask? Because they had the Panachi Stones, the mystical marbles that grant its owners fantastico skill (and were past around quite a lot in the Renaissance, as one can probably tell). Generation after generation, the Stones were past down from person to person, until it reached one who was truly worthy. Then he died. So now, the Panachi Stones are in the hairy hands of that guy's squire, Foolio Būndino, who gallivants across the yonder as the fighter of crimes, Būnd. If this story seems odd to you, keep in mind the picture I was working off of, shown below. Nuff said.

#174: Brian: The Monkey That Writes My Science Textbook

     Half day, folks! My school day is already wrapped up and it's time for the weekend. Huzzah! *happy little jig* Now, speaking of school, I've noticed my science textbook has been ... flawed this year. My mom has actually had to correct their blatantly wrong answers in the answer book. So, sometimes we ask ourselves, "who in the world is writing this thing?" I figured the only logical answer was that it was a monkey. So, without further ado, my latest character: Brian. Yeah. He's a chimp. Desperate for some new writers after the previous ones quite, the U.S.B.C (Unnamed Science Book Company) didn't know what to do. So, Mr. Big Boss Education Man went to the one guy he trusts most. He called upon his pet monkey. As any smart businessman would do in a time of employment crisis. After being given a laptop and a pair of glasses to make him seem "knowledgeable," Brian began his work on the textbook that I read and question on an everyday basic. ♪ Hey hey, he's the monkey! People say he monkeys around! But guess who will be laughing, when he gets paid for writing bullhonkey down? Hey hey! This here monkey! ♪

#173: MesGo: The Spirit Surfer

     I saw Avengers: Age of Ultron a little while ago and it was fantastic! It's gonna be hard to resist saying "language!" every time somebody breaks out a swear word from now on. Classic. Anyway, now that my schedule is finally, how you say, normal, I am free to post my new character: MesGo: the Spirit Surfer! E.T. teenager Messora Gonian is a bit different. Not because she's pale as a cosmic vampire or has a fancy-pantsy British accent that makes her sound like she should be shouting "'Expecto patronum!" But because, unlike the other Krouslian youngsters, she has a pet. His name is Questopher Wollowitz. He is a spirit. Fused with this invisible mystical roadie since birth, "MesGo" has developed a fighting style around him, using it against alien outlaws on her planet Krousla. A fighting style that I really can't explain without showing you through the magic of movie-level CGI. With Ques by her side and explosive element bombs in her weapons bag, this feisty space-Brit is a real threat to evil out in the big starry beyond. Yeah. Her pet can assist her in saving lives and keeping crime at bay. Mine just goes around licking everything. Gotta love dogs!

YOUNG AUTHORS' FAIRE: A DAY OF BOOKY GREATNESS & A PANCAKE

 

     There are certain points of the year I look especially forward to. Halloween. Christmas. The costumed hodgepodge of geekiness that is Wondercon. But one of the biggest ones is the Young Authors' Faire, which was yesterday! And was awesome! So much so that I'm gonna need to make a bullet-point presentation to tell you all of its many highlights:

• My comic book, The '05s, being a huge hit amongst the populous.
• My geek posse, Jackson and Nathan, showing up and engaging me in the art of weird.
• My hyperactive honorary sister Sophie coming and completely schooling us at the art of weird.
• Eating a pancake, something that has become an endangered species to me since the Great Microwave Breakage of 2015.
• Giving out '05s copies for freeeeeee! (Imagine that said in the voice of the Sit 'n Sleep commercial guy.)
• Being offered a really cool job by a really cool guy with a really cool mustache (I've said too much!!)

      It was really fun. But now, I am done with my endless array of projects and business and ready to commence with posting stuff on this here blog! First up: a girl with an all-powerful cosmic entity as a pet.

BADDIE-BOWL: MOTIVATING THE MASSES

     I've already got 2 votes on the Bad-Off Baddie-Bowl and I would please to get more. So, to motivate all you websters to get voting (at the very top of the gadgets on the right, by the way), I decided to make this. Now, please enjoy some extreme '80s music accompanied by a Photoshopped pic of Vacuum Jack and ZOO'OZ fighting in wondrous 1900s freak show style.

BAD-OFF: BADDIE-BOWL 2015

     It's been a long road, folks. There were wins. There were losses. There were monkeys with dapper little hats. But this, my friends, is it. The Baddie-Bowl has begun! Having made his way up through the ranks of the Bad-Offs, the sinister sucker-upper known as Vacuum Jack is looking to dethrone the biggest, baddest guy in all the JC-Verse: the dastardly demon ZOO'OZ! Who will win? Who will lose? Who will be born to sing the blues?! It's all up to you, folks. Get those clickers ready and vote the heck outa that poll, because it's time. Time to get ready for EVIIILLLLLLLL!

RIP PHINEAS AND FERB 2007-2015

That's right. After an 8-year summer of roller-coaster building, impromptu musical numbers and freakishly clever things that go over the child audience's heads, Phineas and Ferb is ending. The show was always a fantastic ode to creativity and monotremes, and it will always be remembered. It was without-a-doubt future nostalgia material. One day, we'll all reminisce about P&F. We'll re-watch old episodes on whatever YouTube-like site we have in the future. We'll collect Doofenshmirtz action figures and Perry hats and fill our houses with them until our spouses think we're nuts and our kids think we're lame. And we'll love every second of it. Phineas and Ferb will be a memory from our youths that we'll always cherish, and one day, you can count on me referencing it in one of my movies. Maybe someone saying that they know what they're gonna do today or cursing their foe in a European-sounding accent.

(True dat, Phin-Dawg. True. Dat.)

SPIDER-MAN FILM COSTUME: MY VERSION (COPYRIGHT, JACOB INC.)

In the case that Marvel somehow flubs up the new Spider-Man films (very unlikely), I have my own Spidey flick I've been spinning in my head for when I'm an actual movie-maker. If they do flub it up, someone's got to try to do it right afterwards. So this, my friends, is the film's costume. Completely Jacob-made, not counting the body outline. Hopefully you approve, Marvelites!

SKETCH WARS: THE RETURN OF THE JAKE-I

     You may have noticed that, due to my intense schedule, my blog looks a little, how you say . . . dead. I'm surprised a mob of angry readers haven't shown up at my door with pitchforks and torches. But my blog isn't Gwen Stacy dead. It's Agent Coulson at the end of The Avengers dead. So, like him, it's coming back, rejuvenated with new life! It may start scribbling alien maps on walls now, but that's all in the fine print. Details, details, dittley-doo. Now, so you know I'm not bluffing, here is a list of things you should expect once everything dies down fully for me:

• A primate that can type.

• The big Bad-Off Baddie-Bowl (already started!)

• A girl with a pet all-powerful supernatural being from beyond. Totally normal thing.

• This delightful little feller:
  

•  More Mustache Ninja (oh, Yoda help us).

•  Probably more comments on the casting of Spidey and how agonizingly long there making us wait to know who they choose.

• A pickle.

     Now, while you let that sink in, enjoy grooving to this oldie/goody: