#251: The Rainbow Barons

(Displayed above: one of the most successful Rainbow Barons, Mr. Seamus McSpudhigh IV. Roughly to scale.)

     Okay, this one's pretty long, so I'll just skip the prologue and get straight to the good stuff. Here's my new character (or characters, more accurately): the Rainbow Barons! Where do leprechauns get their gold? It's a question I doubt you've ever pondered, but one so obvious now that I've pointed it out. Did they win their riches through high-stakes gambling just for the thrill? Are they really the glorified beach hobos of the Emerald Isle and acquired their stash via their trusty metal detectors? Well, I, as a self-proclaimed 98.2% accurate source, just so happen to have my own explanation. So gather 'round the metaphorical campfire, friends, and let me tell you a tale. A tale of capitalism. Our bite-sized green grumps actually earn their gold coins, and originally did so through the shoemaking bizz. It was a modest income, sure, but leprechauns are frugal folk, so they made a decent living. But as time passed by, there came a day when peddling kicks just wasn't cutting it anymore. The economy was changing, and those no-good shlubs the Clurichauns weren't helping either with those loans they'd never repay. But then, a few leprechauns heard through the grapevine that the humans yonder west were working on a little something-something called transcontinental railroad. And the leprechaun community just so happened to have undisputed ownership over a little something-something called rainbows. An idea hath taken shape. And after some nifty business semantics I don't care to lull you to sleep with, that idea became a multicolored reality. Those few--and eventually many more--lucky lep's stepped into the future of business as the Rainbow Barons, turning rainbows into the essential source of transportation for mythical creatures everywhere--as well as a SUPREME source of pot-filling riches to this day. Speaking of, here's a tidbit for you: modern leprechauns have OUTGROWN pots o' gold. They keep all earnings in offshore Swiss bank accounts, for convenience and to make certain we pesky tall folk don't catch on. Cue "The More You Know!"

JACOB'S CHARACTERZ! FAN ART REDESIGN: ANT-MAN (HANK PYM)

     Look alive, summer-y chums. A new character is definitely on the way and will likely be published tomorrow morning, but in the meantime, here's a dandy piece of Marvel fanart I made a while ago and never got around to posting. The traditional Hank Pym Ant-Man happens to be included in my imaginary Fantastic Four Movie Universe as a side character and sorta colleague of Reed, so I figured I should give him a good sketching as well. I think I got a tad carried away, but I'm still proud of it. PS, there's no way of telling for you folks, but just so you know, underneath that mask is most definitely Alan Tudyk as Pym. Of this I am sure.

(Quick coloring job via my pal Photoshop.)

#250: Andy Underoo

     Alright, two pieces of news. First, a few days ago was my promotion to HIGH SCHOOL! That's right, I'm in the belly of the beast now, folks. Smack dab in the epicenter of the storm known as the teen years. There's no heading back. Am I ready for this fruit preserve? We'll find out August 29th. Second, the sis and I watched Batman & Robin yesterday. Needless to say, we need a good week or so to fully regain our senses. And then watch Batman Begins. Now, onto the character! I present to you, Andy Underoo! The agency known as U.N.D.E.R.O.O. had a hard time scraping together a proper supply of young recruits in the 1960s. In other words, the hippies happened. That's right, the JC-Verse had them, too. So, down on their luck and in dire need of agents to help handle the UFO epidemic of the era, what did the government joes at the top conclude? Exactly the conclusion you'd expect from government joes at the top attempting to understand what makes college-age youngsters tick: something that completely doesn't make them tick. Which, in this case, is a cartoon mascot. That rhymes. So, much like a swift, near-preposterously perky ninja that strikes in the night, "Andy Underoo" quickly became just about the most familiar face to anyone involved with the oddity-investigating agency, whether they liked it or not. The latter being much more likely. As it turned out, their spirited campaign to force Andy-brand propaganda into the sight lines of potential recruits ended up making the youngsters even less hyped to sign up. As a result, the mascot and his musings took on new life plastered across seemingly every inch of each U.N.D.E.R.O.O. HQ, actively acting as the bane of all agents' existences for decades to come. And giving way to tons of humorous mocking mockups of his likeness, sketched and past around by bored agents at briefings. The content of which I can't share. Because most of them were really crude.

(Andy Underoo himself, featured on one of his signature '60s-era reminders placed at every headquarters.)

104 DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION AND JUST HOW I PLAN TO SPEND IT (SING TITLE OR NOT AS AFFECTIVE)

     That's right, folks. The sun is a-gleamin', the air is most certainly a-steamin', and ol' Jakeypants over here has the freedom to post something at 2:18 PM on a Thursday. Summer vacation, everyone. *applause* This is my first official day of vacation and may I just say that this, in my humble opinion, may be the summeriest summer ever to summer. But really, only time will tell. Anywho, you may be asking yourself, "Jacob, what do you plan to do this summer? Catch some bangin' waves or embark on a squatch hunt, perhaps?" Repent my sins, dear friend. That's what I plan to do. Because in all seriousness, this blog has been getting the shaft as of late due to the majority of my daily brainpower being drained via end-of-the-year school before I even get a real chance to post anything. So, with my metaphorical plate cleared for the next 3-ish months, I'm going to have a ton of time to get my creative crud together again and tend to some major projects that I've been working on-and-off on for a while. I'll still stay mum on what exactly those nifty projects are, just so I don't get anybody's hopes up if I don't end up completing them all. But nevertheless, I promise this summer vacation is going to be pretty intense around here, and to start things off, I just so happened to end my 8th grade year by writing a tie-in JC-Verse news article about our buddy Sebaster for a writing assignment. I reckoned that I should get posting it out of the way early, on account of the fact that I'm not going to want to bring up anything related to the S word again until September. Enjoy, friends!

(Part 1)

(Pt 2)