#263 & #264: Alvon & Johnny Gargantuan

      Alrighty. My stomach has been replenished with the necessary pancakes, so without further ado, let's get right into this shindig. I present to you my new pair of characters: Alvon and Johnny Gargantuan! Regardless of what you believe, I think we can all agree that in the theoretical circumstance where you find youself on the bad side of the omnipotent, eternally moral, eternally forgiving universe creator entity, there's no two ways about it. Ya dun goof'd, and ya dun goof'd real bad. So, you can probably infer that fallen angel Alvon, who was literally forced to take a skydive sans parachute straight out of the eternal beyond because God was ticked with him, wasn't exactly jazzed with life. Fired from his only job for all of eternity and stuck inhabiting JC-Earth, Alvon spent his days soul-searching, roaming from country to country until he decided to stop by a little joint called Madame Freaky Deeky's Oddity Hut for a show. And it was there that by fate, or coincidence, or maybe the Lord finally taking pitty on his ex-employee, he met Johnny Gargantuan, one of the last nephilim. (Author's note: for all those who are confuzzled over what I just said, nephilim are the giant fallen angel/human crossbreeds that supposedly roamed the Earth until most of them were wiped out via death by flood. Here's a link in case you want to know anymore.) Seperated from his tribe and working for petty cash as Freaky Deeky's resident tall guy, he and Alvon struck a cord with one another. Both down on their luck and armed with their impressive share of holy knowledge, they figured it was about time they put themselved to some good use. Forging and arming themselves with holyforms--shapeshifting relics made of holy energy that are grade-A for fighting off evil spirits-- these two knuckleheads team up as the living world's dual-defense against any demons that try to wreak havoc. They're like the Winchester brothers, only much less . . . unnaturally model-like.

( Even though you can't see it under his jacket, Johnny's suspenders are actually each a bunch of suspenders tied together. The struggles of being 9 feet tall.)