#271 & #272: Kelsey Preez and Asper Ushe: The Disappointment Twins

     I'd like to preface this post by saying that the art style of today's characters is ever-so-slightly inspired by the snappy illustrations in my Spanish textbook. Not my favorite class, per say, but gotta give credit where credit is due. Shout-out to you, ¡Adelante! Uno by Vista Higher Learning. Kudos for breaking up the hard stuff with stylistic sketches of cheery Spanish-speakers. Props. Now, without further ado, I present to you the Disappointment Twins! *ahem* For years upon years, they've been an enigma. Documented reports of their attacks have been slim, and claims have rarely matched up. A handful of details, however, have remained consistant: deathly pale skin, sullen expressions, unrelentingly sarcastic demeanors, and varying degrees of flannel. As well as their names: Kelsey Preez and Asper Ushe, or as they've been fittingly deemed, the "Disappointment Twins!" Urban legend has it, these omnipotent punks have been burdening people with aggravatingly lackluster luck for over two decades. Some say they're disenfranchised demigods from the god of mischief Loki's brief marriage to a barista in Seattle. Others say they were once average 13-year-olds until they were put under an eternal curse for their disrespectful tones by a black cat in a cute little witch's hat. Regardless of their origins, the duo have become infamous for dragging people down to their levels of irritability by force, and they seem poised to continue doing so for, like, literally forever. Fun fact: prior to being struck with bogus luck, most alleged victims reportedly either a) gave their students an egregious amount of weekend homework, or b) claimed that the Smashing Pumpkins are overrated.