ABOUT THE JC-VERSE: U.N.D.E.R.O.O.

     Merry belated Christmas, ya festive Philberts and Fionas! I hope that the big 12/25 treated each of you to a handsome amount of merriment to carry you through Boxing Day and beyond. Bravo, 2016. You were a little shoddy throughout, but your Christmas was pretty dang swell. Now, with the aid of some page-scrolling and brief finger counting, you'll find that the 12 Creationz of Christmas doesn't seem very finished. 9 posts doesn't exactly equal 12 creationz, so what gives? Well, I originally did plan to do the expected 12 posts. But, as rapid present wrapping for the sis, an early no-peeking Eve bedtime, and the Christmas Day festivities themselves seized my attention, I couldn't manage to squeeze them in. But don't fret, my post-Christmas comrades. Because throughout the entirety of the 12CofC, I was holding a wild card close to my chest. A post I kept pushing off because of how long it had to be. A post that just so happens to include all those drawings of distinguishedly-dressed gents from the torso-up that I promised you guys. And given the number of said drawings it contains, this post has enough certified creations to more than cap off those 12. So, while we may be a day past the deadline, it's time to wrap up this holly jolly jamboree once and for all. Ladies and gents, I give you the latest installment of "About the JC-Verse!" This time, we'll be covering the JC-Verse's most prominent and unconvetional agency, and the thing I've probably mentioned more than anything else on this blog: U.N.D.E.R.O.O.
     So, first off, what exactly is U.N.D.E.R.O.O., besides a government organization that shares its monicer with the underwear that's fun to wear? Well, the agency isn't exactly the type of establishment that you can sum up in a pithy, Twitter-friendly format. It's got a history to behold. But, to start things off easy, let's get into some

                                         TRIVIAL FACTS!

• U.N.D.E.R.O.O. is kind of a big deal. It is the JC-Verse's most powerful and widely-spanning government agency, having its ever-present feelers spread out across the entire globe.
• It was founded in 1902 by high-ranking U.S. general Julius Spyser and accomplished inventor Isaac Jostlewick. (If you want more deets on exactly how that founding went down, I covered it in a post way back in the olden days.)
•  Its purpose is, as originally stated by Jostlewick, "to act as the first line of defense against any mutated, unearthly or otherwise anomalous foe to threaten humankind, and the first to make sense of any instance across the globe that stands out as kooky or bizarre." In other words, if there's something strange in your neighborhood, no need to call Bill Murray and his colorful crew of friends. U.N.D.E.R.O.O.'s got your back.
• U.N.D.E.R.O.O.'s duties are spread out among its 13 divisions: *inhales* Field, Weapons, Tech, Science, Security, Space, Extraterrestrial Communications, Diplomacy, Medical, Fantastical Lifeform Surveillance, Research and Development, Holiday, and Ninja. (Oh, how I wish I was joking about those last two.)
• Ever since its inception, U.N.D.E.R.O.O. has always had two directors jointly running the show. With one rare exception, it's always been the case that one of those directors is from the Spyser family, while the other is from the Jostlewick family. Call it nepotism, call it watered-down monarchy, but after over a hundred years, you can't debate its success.

     With each passing pair of head honchos, U.N.D.E.R.O.O. has seen a very different era of its history, each with its own specific goals and struggles. Some . . . have been better than others. I don't aim to waste too much of your potential boxing time on JC-Verse history class, so I'll try to keep things brief-ish. Let's get into it.

THE "GOLDEN AGE" - ISAAC & JULIUS

     Duration: 1902-1937
     Crud-hits-the-fan-ometer: .5

     Prior to their partnership, Jostlewick and Spyser were the last two guys you'd peg as future life-long partners. To be honest, the only thing the stoic general and eccentric tinkerer had in common was their glorious, mustachioed mugs. But sure enough, in 1902, the duo founded the Universal Network Determining Events of Rather Odd Origins, aiming to do their darnedest to keep the fantastical side of JC-Earth in check and under wraps. Under the two gents' leadership, the organization focused its first 35 years on wrangling the free-roaming mutants left over from the genetic manipulation trend of the steampunk era. U.N.D.E.R.O.O.'s Golden Age also saw a number of snazzy side-projects under Jostlewick's guidance, most notably the creation of the living alloy "Seth" for use against future larger-than-life threats. It was all pretty much blue skies during this era, so I think that's pretty much it.

THE "SILVER AGE" - VERNON & RORY

     Duration: 1939-1965
     Crud-hits-the-fan-ometer: 5

     After Julius' passing in 1937, followed by Isaac's two years later, the reigns of U.N.D.E.R.O.O. were handed over to the pair's respective sons, Rory Spyser and Vernon Jostlewick. Unlike his characteristically stoic pappy and predecessor, Rory was . . . a character. Think Teddy Roosevelt, with a healthy dash of Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls. The guy did what he wanted to, and when he did it, he did it with unapologetic gusto. So, when the UFO epidemic kicked off with the infamous Roswell crash in 1947, Rory ran headfirst into what would eventually be nicknamed the "UFO Wars." Moving the agency's H.Q. to the newly-built "Honcho House" and its neighboring army base outside D.C., Rory started training agents to take on the so-called "Greys." Meanwhile, his part-time personal conscience Vernon dedicated his time to getting info out of the only (known) Roswell survivor, specimen #0898. Also known as Sheryl. All this wartime hullabaloo didn't amount to much outside of some victories for Rory's men--and a controversial attempt to teleport a crew of cosmonauts to the Grey's home planet in '65. Until . . .

THE "BRONZE AGE" - AL & JONATHAN

   
     Duration: 1967-1982
     Crud-hits-the-fan-ometer: 3.5

     After his personal conscience passed away, Rory was far too up in his years to helm U.N.D.E.R.O.O. all on his own. So, Vernon's kindhearted son Al stepped in as the next Jostlewick director, in order to watch over Rory. After he finally died, Jonathan Spyser joined Al to form the organization's third generation directorial duo. With Rory's gung-ho war efforts having mostly missed the mark, and Vernon's cosmonauts' return looking pretty unlikely, the business-minded new Spyser decided to forge his own path. He concluded that the key to beating out the aliens plaguing the U.S. of A.'s skies and cattle ranches was to turn their focus inward. So, in the years that followed, U.N.D.E.R.O.O. got a makeover. A prep academy was founded to shape youngins into ideal agents, a new Mars teleportation program called Barren I began not even a year after NASA's moon landing, and a brand new agency mascot was introduced. That last one didn't go over too well, but all-in-all, his plans were successful. Things seemed to be going pretty good for Jonathan's "home makeover" method, and the "UFO War" was starting to go in the agency's favor. But alas, call up M. Night Shyamalan because before long, there was a twist. Come 1978, the cosmonauts returned, and gave a more-than-sparkling review of their extended stay at el casa de Grey. This didn't have that much of an affect on Jonathan's game plan, as he fell sick and faced an untimely death soon after in '82. But its repercussions were very much felt in . . .

THE "PLATINUM AGE" - AL & ROBERT

     Duration: 1985-1993
     Crud-hits-the-fan-o-meter: 1

     Half-way through the '80s and going into what would become known as the Platinum Age, U.N.D.E.R.O.O. had a lot of stuff to consider - and they needed a strong new Spyser to help consider them. So, keeping with traditon, Jonathan's son Phil was selected to step up to bat alongside an elderly Al. Unfortunately, Phil just so happened to be a deadbeat, so they went with his son Robert instead. Robert, luckily, was not a deadbeat. In fact, while his bloodline had previously offered up two generals and a businessman, Robert was something decidedly refreshing: a diplomat. And having come of age in the '60s, he was open to a certain philosophy that none of the previous Spysers had considered: peace. Say it with me now, peace. So, inviting a high-ranking group of Greys to Fort Triplock in Nevada, Robert and Al offered up some terms of peace and, through some translator-aided negotiation and firm tridactyl-to-pentadactyl handshakes, made them a reality. Finally, in 1988, the longstanding UFO War came to a close, and U.N.D.E.R.O.O. for the first time started to consider a more hospitable stance on fantastical lifeforms. Yadda yadda, peace on earth, good times all around.

THE "MODERN AGE" - HUGO & ROBERT 

     Duration: 1993-2012
      Crud-hits-the-fan-ometer: .5

     When Al finally passed on, the "Golden Spyser" found his new peace-maintaining partner in Hugo, a genial Jostlewick with a mustache rivaling that of his great-grandpappy. With the unorthodox organization still on good terms with the Greys, thanks to the "Truce at Triplock," efforts started being directed towards dealing with a more varied array of lifeforms, including those like the Hexaplexahedron. The duo began spiffing up the agency's structure for the 21st Century with the introduction of the Security Division and the computerized Fantastical Lifeform Logs. With the exception of a war scare in 2005, in which a certain son-of-a-gun by the name of Smart Alek unsuccessfully tried to conquer Earth (a story for another time, take my word for it), things were pretty calm for the ol' Universal Network Determining Events of Rather Odd Origins. Very calm. Too calm. Because all the while U.N.D.E.R.O.O. was exercising its new role as a global keeper of peace, one leftover lieutenant from Smart Alek's failed army had been locked up, and everyday, was carefully plotting his escape. I wish the Modern Age was where it stopped, folks. I really did. But sure enough . . .

THE "DARK AGE" - ROBERT AND THE MAN


      Duration: 2012-present
      Crud-hits-the-fan-o-meter: 10

    Once the stray lieutenant got to Hugo, he had him killed. I won't go into how for the sake of not tainting any of the holly jolly seasonal spirit you've still got in you, but as you can probably gather, it wasn't pretty. With Jostlewick out of the way, the lieutenant approached Robert with a proposition. He wanted to rule, and he was pretty darn sure that the Golden Spyser wanted to live. He was right to assume that much. Because, when he was offered a choice of the realization of both of those wishes or neither, Robert chose the former. That lieutenant was named Bikar'Lek of Glimmorrius, and starting in 2012, he has been the one and only true director of U.N.D.E.R.O.O. With Robert as his powerless public puppet, he has dedicated his rule over the agency to conquering the JC-Verse, using the guise of Project Doorway to achieve his fallen master's vision one planet at a time. And with such a wicked goal for his government power, there's only one title that really suits him. Not director. Not watered-down monarch. But "the Man."


     Well, I think that's more than enough JC-Verse history class for one day. I feel kinda bad ending this session on such a grim note. Just know that things do eventually work out for the unorthodox agency. I'll stay mum for now on how exactly that happens, just in case I ever want to adapt U.N.D.E.R.O.O. into an animated series or something of the like. But regardless, it happens. It's not a quick process, but it happens. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the 12 Creationz of Christmas! It didn't exactly go as planned, but to heck with that! Here at Jacob's Characterz! we never give up. And if not giving up requires me to write the last post of the 12CofC on and off on Christmas Day until 3 AM and post it on Boxing Day, that's what I've gotta do. And that's exactly what I did. Don't worry, I slept in until past noon, so I made up for it. I hope you all had a fantastic December celebrating what it is that you celebrate, take care, and I'll see you in 2017! Hasta la pasta!

AMAZING FANTASY #15 (REDUX)

     Speaking of tending to the loose threads dangling from this blog, I give you the Jacob's Characterz!-brand rendition of the cover of Amazing Fantasy #15, AKA the first appearence of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! Back when I redid the Fantastic Four #1 cover, I promised that two more fancy-shamncy redesigns of the like were on their way. Today, albeit a bit late, seemed like as good a time as any to deliver on the first 50% of that promise. Plus, that good ol' Homecoming trailer just dropped recently-ish, so . . . relevance? Yes? No? Maybe so? I dunno, but it was still worth the ink. Enjoy, fellow Marvelites!

RIGHTING WRONGS: the TyrannoThesaurus Rex

      Ho ho ho and into the second half of the 12 Creationz of Christmas we go. Apologies that this one got a little delayed. Last night I had to shut off the computer while prepping it so that I could countinue binging Over the Garden Wall for the first time with the ol' mumsy. From now on, the Mustache Ninja and I can freely engage in lively renditions of "Potatoes and Molasses" with Mom in on the loop. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing, now that I think about it, so I'll keep you posted. Now, onto the delayed creation at hand. Devoted passengers of the Primo Blogger-Based Animation Crazy Train of Southern California™  that you see before you will likely find that drawing below awful familiar. Allow me to explain. As I've mentioned before, for as long as I can remember I've been receiving mentorship on my posts from a guy by the name of J.K. Riki. He's an animator working out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and he's offered a ton of help over the years, telling me what he likes about certain drawings and giving me constructive feedback on how to make them better. He even thought I was noteworthy enough to warrant a post on his site, which was amazing. But while I have taken his critiques and done what he's suggested plenty of times, I've managed to let some of them slip through the cracks. The guy's been so kind over the years that I'd feel bad if I just let those critiques be lost to the blogospherical mysts of time . . . time . . . time.  So, after a bazillion years, I'm finally going to start tending to those lost tidbits of feedback and doing what he suggested, starting with character #165: the TyrannoThesaurus Rex! On this one, he thought it would be interesting if I ixnayed the exterior line and made the literate lizard entirely of words, so here you go. Fully realized and rendered to the hilt. Hope you like it, J.K.!

Version 2.0

Version 1.0

IN WHICH JACOB SHOWS OFF HIS SISTER'S PARTY-PLANNING PROWESS

     Sharing is caring, friends. And since my 15th birthday and corresponding pre-birthday birthday extravaganza just went down this week, I've decided to live by that rhyming truth of life and expand the 12 Creationz of Christmas' borders to include the work of said party's planner. Also known as my sister. She did an all-around knockout job this year, and given the fact that I got to post the decorations I made for her party, it's only fair that she gets the same treatment. Enjoy! (PS, the theme was "Jacob-Con," by the by. A pretty dang clever way to tie together the grandiose hodgepodge of obscurity and geekdom that is my interests.)

(a spiffy sign)

(a Gravity Falls-themed cake, made entirely by the sis)

(an Over the Garden Wall-themed pin-the-tail game)

(the sensational sibs themselves)

#267: The Winter Soulstress

     I am now 15 years old! *zealous confetti-ing* *smashes plate* That's a pretty whopping development in itself, but get this: once the numbers are sufficiently crunched, you'll find that I've been running this blog for over one-fifth of my life! I'm also about five-sixths of the way to starting college and making/breaking my adult animation career, so it's crunch time, folks. Anyway, sorry for not posting the ♪6th Creation of Christmas♪ on Sunday while I was enjoying my pre-birthday birthday shindig. But we've still got a good 5-ish days until the big 'Mas and the 12CoC's epic climax, so I'll make sure to balance things out by then. Now, onto the post! Ladies and gents, the first character post of the 12 Creationz of Christmas: the Winter Soulstress! Super alpaca points to anyone who noticed and appreciates the lowkey punnyness of that name, but if you aren't one such person, fear not. This character goes deeper than just some snappy paronomasia. Of all the abnormal and eye-raising locales on JC-Earth, there is one in particular that's managed to thouroughly cement itself in myth, and for good reason: Jästus Ridge. The snowy Finnish mountainside has seen a bus load of eager explorers visiting over the years--but few leaving. This could be attributed to your textbook geologic hazard, but par for the course with the JC-Verse, the truth is much, much stranger. Jästus Ridge just so happens to be the home of the legendary, and ridiculously dangerous, Winter Soulstress! Originally a curious young witch born in the Middle Ages, she broke a colossal taboo by falling for a non-mage at the age of 16. Enraged, the elder witches and warlocks had her lover sentenced to death, and cast her out into the icy slopes of Jästus Ridge, assuming her a surefire gonner. Unfortunately for them, they did some serious underestimating. With nothing to loose, the heartbroken young witch eventually stumbled into another taboo practice: soulsnatching. This brand of magic allows any experienced witch or warlock to suck the very spirit out of another living thing, and harness its life energy to, if they play their cards right, live forever. And with hikers trekking now and then across the treacherous Ridge, she had enough souls at her disposal to give it a go. So, the young witch became the Winter Soulstress, luring strapping and unsuspecting explorers into her icy clutches and stockpiling their souls, sustaining her life century after century. (*inhales and exhales* Nothing like a good ol'-fashioned mystical European death mistress to get you in the spirit.)

(Version with more details coming soon (maybe))

THE AFOREMENTIONED SNAZZY LOGO

     I present to you the official logo for the 12 Creationz of Christmas! I initially planned to just add this puppy to the announcement post and fill today's spot with a certain character I've been planning, but things got a little off-track. Plus, considering the surprising amount of time it took to get the logo prepped and postable, I reckon it's as much a certified creation as any. Gentlemen, bring in the stamp! *stamps*

CLICK TO ENLARGE

FAN ART O'CLOCK (again) feat. Green Lantern (again)

     ♪For the 3rd Creation of Christmas, Jacob gave to me some heavily obscure DC fanart.♪ The lyrics could use a little finetuning, but they ring true nonetheless. It's fanart time once again! For the comic book casuals out there who may or may not be confuzzled right now, no, I didn't take some serious creative liberties in making this fanart. This is the incredibly old, incredibly different Green Lantern of the 1940s, AKA Alan Scott. Instead of policing extraterrestrials, this fella ran around with a dog and a portly cab driver, fighting giant swamp zombies and sky pirates. So, all-in-all, nothing new for this blog. Behold!

(by the by, that's Alan Tudyk as Alan Scott. Alanception, I guess. *Twilight Zone music*)

NOTEWORTHY THINGS

     Time for day #2! Well, technically still day #1, on account of the fact that I published the first day's post after midnight, but . . . you know, semantics. Anywho, since all the king-sized posts are currently scheduled for once I'm liberated from the shackles of schoolwork for three weeks starting Saturday, this one's gonna be pretty brief. But it's an important post nonetheless. Anyone by any chance wondering where the heck I was for the umpteen days after Characterfest? To be fair, it's not exactly a big "egad" moment anymore when I randomly vanish from the blog for a week or two--nothing will ever hold a candle to the Great "Oh Crud, I Haven't Posted in Six Months" Incident of '13--but some sufficiently noteworthy stuff occurred while I was away. Not even counting the Spider-Man Homecoming trailer. Which I'm gonna try not to start ranting about. *puts brain in a chokehold*

NOTEWORTHY THINGS

• I worked on the stage crew for my school's talent show. My school is basically a public school/homeschool hybrid, and I've done most of my schooling on the latter half of that combo since day one. Now that I'm in high school, I'm finally shedding my unofficial "official school hermit" image and getting familiar with the former half. It's been going pretty dandy so far.
• I saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Doctor Strange. November was apparently the month of New-York-based sorcerors in blue coats, not that I'm complaining. 1.8 out of 2 thumbs up.
•  I low-key mastered the skill of efficiently drawing snappily-dresssed older dudes from the torso up in large quantities, as you'll be seeing soon enough. Like I said, the king-sized posts are on their way.
• I continued un-hermit-izing myself by going to Teen Movie Night at my school last Friday. I got to watch Elf again, which I always consider a plus, given the fact that Buddy is my internal self, externalized.
• Lastly, this weekend I threw my accomplice/sister/on-hand representative of the fangirl populous Abby (AKA the Mustache Ninja) her Hamilton-themed birthday party. Throwing each other's birthday parties is an age-old tradition betwen the two of us. Our birthdays are 12 days apart, so December is essentially the Annual Housewide Birthday-Planning Championship for us. It would kinda be betraying the basic purpose of the 12 Creationz of Christmas if I left this post without something that qualifies as a creation. So, to fill that void, here are the half-and-half character headshots I made as decorations for the party. All-in-all, I think they turned out pretty snazzy. Enjoy!

  

  Alexander Hamilton

  
  

  

  Aaron Burr

  

  Eliza Schuyler

  

  Angelica Schuyler

  

  Peggy Schuyler

  

  John Laurens

  

  Lafayette

  

  Hercules Mulligan (with the decidedly slyest grin ever)

  
  

  

  George Washington

  

  Thomas Jefferson

  

  James Madison

  

  A very distraught King George

  
  

MARVEL EARTH 600 5: BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

     Alright, jolly ranchers. It's 12 Creationz of Christmas time. And to start things off I'm resurrecting an oldie. For those of you who weren't keeping tabs on this blog a bazillion years ago, Marvel Earth 600 was a headcanon that I created and posted about in detail a total of 4 times. It's basically the Marvel Universe, but every character has been flipped on their respective head. Click on this link if you want to dive into the depths of Archiveville and read those original four. But for now, without further ado, let's get into the Earth-600-ing of the character I promised all those eons ago that I would do next . . .

• Matt Murdock: after getting caught in the devistating crosshairs of a chemical spill, lawyer Matt Murdock was left blinded, burned, and teetering on the precipice of passing on. And given his moral choices so far, things weren't looking so good regarding where he'd be passing onto. But something shone upon him that day. A glorious, glowing being. It stood at the foot of his hospital bed, offering him a literally life-saving deal and a firm handshake to seal it. He accepted in a heartbeat. The only problem was, that being glowed red. And Matt Murdock had just given over his soul to a being known to some as Satan, to some as Mephisto, but who chooses to call himself "the Beast". Only unlike in the case of our pal Ghost Rider, Matt Murdock wasn't forced to run around settling scores on the devil's behalf. Instead, he was given two things: horns, and a watch. Two hideous horns, and a crimson-tinted watch that ticked and ticked and ticked down to the day he would 100% truly die. And every day Murdock continued living his newly restored life, those two things would remind him of what he had agreed to: that no matter what he did to change, once he finally passed on, his soul would contractually land in the hands of his putrid partner for eternity. There was nothing that ol' Matt could do at this point. So, luckily, he got some significant help. Taking pity on the poor lawyer and knowing the untapped potential that his soul was endowed with, an angelic being known soley as "Stick" was sent to recrute him into the earthly ranks of the "One-Above-All;" to allow him to fight alongside the angels against the fallen beings hat lurk among the living; to allow Murdock to maybe, just maybe find redemption and rid himself of the terrible debt he owes in the afterlife. So, just as desperate to reclaim his life as he had once been to save it, he said yes. Equipped a pair of battons embowed with holy energy, Murdock fights alongside Stick in the war against the dark spirits of Earth 600, as well as the Beast's human followers (known by the moniker of "the Hand")--and all the while working to once and for all save his soul. (Should I try to tie this post into Christmas? Should I make that connection? I dunno, it's past midnight and I'm too tired to function. You get the jist. Angels and all that good stuff.)

FESTIVE FESTIVITIES (Feat. An Announcement)

     Greetings and salu-stinking-tations, everybody! Look at that. Almost a week since the first Spider-Man Homecoming trailer and pigs are not yet flying, nor has H.E.Doublehockeysticks frozen over. The prophecies were wrong. Also, I didn't internally combust into flames upon first viewing, so, personal victory. Oh yeah, by the by, it's Christmastime!

And with this particular Christmas comes a stark realization. I've been the engineer of this cartoon crazy train for almost 4 years now. And in 2 out of those 4-ish years, I've celebrated December packing this blog to the brim with my own "12 Characterz of Christmas." It's been a pretty socko endeavor both go-rounds, if I do say so myself. But that being said, 24 characters is a lot. And there are only so many that you can make out of festive puns. So, to avoid having to scrape the bottom of of the merry barrel this holiday season, I've decided to significantly widen the gambit. Ladies and gents, put your hands and hooves together and welcome to JC tradition the 12 Creationz of Christmas! (Gone with the z branding this far, I've gotta commit.) Leading up to the big 12-25, you folks will be getting a brand new post *almost* everyday--only this time, those slots could be filled with anything. Fanart, fan theories, "About the JC-Verse" posts, even animation! Sometimes festive, sometimes whatever the heck pops into my head. Any genre of post this here blog has ever hosted is up for grabs--and it all kicks off tomorrow. It's gonna be holly. It's gonna be jolly. And if neither of those things, it'll at least be gosh dang weird.

(P.S. forgive this post for its temporary lack of an official "12 Creationz of Christmas" snazzy logo. One will be added soon enough. Please stand by.)

FAREWELL TO THE 3RD ANNUAL CHARACTERFEST

     Alrighty, ladies and gents. It has finally struck midnight here on the wizzity west coast, so that means that the 3rd Annual Characterfest has finally and officially come to a close. And with that, the Characterfest Totally Tubular Textpost Talley rests at:

• 7 posts altogether, which breaks down to:
•  1 intro post (duh)
• 3 character posts (containing 4 characters)
• 3 extracurricular posts (AKA any post that doesn't have a number slapped on it)
• 1 sufficently snappy shindig

So, there we have it. A large portion of me wishes I could've done more characters, given that they are sorta the name of the game here. But to my credit, it is getting harder to just crank out posts now. In past fests I could pretty much just whip up a design, give a quick coloring job, and scan it onto the computer flaws and all. Now that I have so much more at my disposal, I can't exactly get away with that. Regardless of all the statistics, though, I'm content. When push comes to shove, any day where I get to brighten up you guys' lives and do what I've loved for pretty much my entire life is a pretty dang good day to me. Thanks a ton to all you radical readers, new and returning, for participating. Stay snazzy, enjoy giving the heck out of some thanks this week, and look forward to some pretty big endeavours on the horizon around here. I'm serious this time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been on the computer so long that I might start smelling megabites if I don't get off promptly. Let's stick with the P&F theme and close this son of a gun out! Hit it!

FROM SAN JUAN SOSO WITH LOVE (SOME SPECIAL CONCEPT ART + AN UPDATE)

     I feel quite bad that I did not prepare any animation for this year's Characterfest. It would've been a nice step up from the usual "post a crud-ton of drawings" format. But while I may not have any animation, I do have a little something quite closely linked to it. Now, I was trying to hold back showing you all this for quite a while, but I don't currently have any character posts to concoct for the 'Fest's last hour, so what the hey. Ladies and gents, Mitch Turley, the star of a little show called "NightOwl"!

Not the most flattering snap of the guy, but he's never been too self-conscious about his looks. It should be fine. For those of you have joined recently, NightOwl is an animated series that I am currently working on. That by itself sounds pretty cool, right? Right. The only snag is that it should've been out approximately a bazillion months ago according to my announcement post. As I said at the start of the day, my time management skills are . . . lacking, to say the least. And this little project is one of the best pieces of evidence to back that up. Granted, making a roughly 15-minute-per-episode animated web series all by yourself at the age of 14 isn't exactly a walk in the metaphorical park. But regardless, I have let a lot of time slip away right in front of me, and that is something I'm gonna have to work on. But for now, I am pretty far along. I did have a finished draft for the first episode, but it eventually dawned upon me that said draft kinda sucked, so naturally I decided to scrap it. However, I do have the show pretty much outlined. I'm in the process of hunting down silver age comic books to devour as research for the show's tone (it's probably the comic era most compatable with the idea of a 22-year-old manchild fighting crime in a zip-up owl hoodie), and I'm gonna be starting the actual Episode 1 script pretty dang soon. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how long it takes, how many hours of Toon Boom I have to clock in, because I am committed to bringing the JC-Verse to life on screen, and I aim to do it in the most spectacular way a 14-year-old can. So, stay patient, my grasshoppers. Ol' Jakey McBloggerstein's got this . . .


. . . I think . . .


. . . No, yeah, I've definitely got this.

#266: The Astonishing Ufo

    Just so all those reading from the West Coast and beyond are aware, it is very much still November 22nd here in sunny ol' California. The party is still most definitely a-pumpin'. We are definitely approaching the end, though, so I should probably whip this one up quick. Presenting Characterfest character number 4: the Astonishing Ufo. You might've watched enough modern sci fi shows and movies to know that for every decision made in this reality, there is a plethora of other realities where that decision was tossed to the side in favor of another. So, on July 5th 1958, in this very particular reality, nothing really happened. But precisely in Dimension #95601, a group of extraterrestrials calling themselves Foreverans descended upon the skyline of bustling New York City. Fearing the effects that a 3rd world war built upon the current US-Soviet tension would have on the rather extraordinary planet of Earth, the Foreverans, using an unexplained energy called Zaraxium, froze time. From then on, utopia was born. Over the course of what would've been 200 years, mankind and the Foreverans made a joint effort to fix the world, wiping away the grime from society and turning it into a new utopia the likes of which no Earthling had ever seen. It was swell, and above all, it was perfect. Until the 201st year, that is. Because in the 201st year, an anarchic horde of militiamen called the Apocalyptos began filtering in from who knows where, reintroducing an ancient human practice to the Utopia: wreaking havoc. The Foreverans sat in their watchtower, eventually all agreeing to take action. By then, however, someone had beat them to it. Gathering every scrap and supply he could find, a desperate scientist named Chip feverishly constructed an android, with a central "heart" that he filled with a finishing touch: a dash of Zaraxium that he stole from the Foreveran watchtower. With that otherworldy energy powering him, the android was able to contort the space that surrounded him, twisting gravity so that he could defy it whenever he saw fit. For all his power, however, he lacked a name. Fortunately, though, the headlines gave him one. So, with astonishing abilites at his metallic fingertips and a surprisingly sentient mind to match, "Ufo" took to the streets to singlehandedly take on the Apocalyptos, defending those in their chaotic path and striving to restore order in the eternally frozen society known as the Utopia. (Wooh. Apologies if that one was a bit rambly. Pretty sure that evolved into a pitch for a movie I might make one day.)

NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANA

     While I feverishly edit my next character/eat some dindin, here's a piece of decently snazzy Batman fan art I did a while back. I may have already posted it fully-Photoshopped, but I think the unedited edtion looks best. Also, just ignore that oddly fetus-like scribble in the corner.

#265: Doctor Benzod: Psychotic Sleep God

     Sorry for the delay on this one, folks. Photoshop is an unpredictable beast that I am yet to fully tame. Now, time for Characterfest character number three: Doctor Benzod, psychopathic sleep god. Genius can go two ways. It can either a) be used to enlighten others and lift them up, or b) be used to shove others down as hard as possible. You'd think after all these years we humans would've learned to scratch out the ladder option altogether, but alas we've still got a little while to go on that one. However, we're not here today to lement about mankind's incredibly oblong learning curve. No siree, we're here to talk about a shining example of that second option, hailing from the JC-Verse: Doctor Barren Benzod. A brilliant chemist that spent his early years hopping from school to school to find one that could keep up with him, Benzod blew the popsicle stand of high school a year early and got accepted into U.N.D.E.R.O.O. Academy. (That's right, it was only a matter of posts until I mentioned U.N.D.E.R.O.O. again. I could only make it so long.) There he blazed through the first two years of training, aimed for a surefire high-up position in the Weapons Division. Things were looking bright for ol' Barret. That is, until things got significantly darker. Upon entry into his third year, Benzod designed the Hypnos toxin, an airborne poison apple of sorts that can put any person into an indefinite slumber, and its corresponding true love's kiss, a liquid anecdote called the Waker serum. Day and night he spent perfecting it, until one day he decided to make test subjects out of his dormmates. Naturally, it didn't sit well with the professors when they heard through the grapevine that one of their students was putting his peers into controlled comas. After falling from grace, the former star pupil of U.N.D.E.R.O.O. refused to let his experiments be set back. So, in a textbook mad scientist 101 move, he found himself a little isolated island called Karrino, and he pressed onward. Spending years upon years building himself a bona fide fortress of a lab that he named Comatose State (badum tssss), Dr. Benzod continued wittling his Hypnos toxin to perfection, making unsuspecting Sleeping Beauties out of innocent folks that he scammed into vacationing on his island. (Now that I think about it, islands seem to be hotbeds for lunatics nowadays. Might be a good idea for y'all to vacation inland. Just a thought.)

IN WHICH JACOB SHARES HIS FRIEND'S MOST EXCELLENT ART

     Between characters, I would like to display some swanky art from one of my friends, Sophia. Not to be confused with the infamous Sophie, or any of her accompanying personalities, for that matter. Sophia is actually one of my sis's new comrades from school, and I asked her to send me some of her work for Characterfest upon having seen a few of her cartoon doodlings. What she sent is much more than I was expecting. Behold!

#263 & #264: Alvon & Johnny Gargantuan

      Alrighty. My stomach has been replenished with the necessary pancakes, so without further ado, let's get right into this shindig. I present to you my new pair of characters: Alvon and Johnny Gargantuan! Regardless of what you believe, I think we can all agree that in the theoretical circumstance where you find youself on the bad side of the omnipotent, eternally moral, eternally forgiving universe creator entity, there's no two ways about it. Ya dun goof'd, and ya dun goof'd real bad. So, you can probably infer that fallen angel Alvon, who was literally forced to take a skydive sans parachute straight out of the eternal beyond because God was ticked with him, wasn't exactly jazzed with life. Fired from his only job for all of eternity and stuck inhabiting JC-Earth, Alvon spent his days soul-searching, roaming from country to country until he decided to stop by a little joint called Madame Freaky Deeky's Oddity Hut for a show. And it was there that by fate, or coincidence, or maybe the Lord finally taking pitty on his ex-employee, he met Johnny Gargantuan, one of the last nephilim. (Author's note: for all those who are confuzzled over what I just said, nephilim are the giant fallen angel/human crossbreeds that supposedly roamed the Earth until most of them were wiped out via death by flood. Here's a link in case you want to know anymore.) Seperated from his tribe and working for petty cash as Freaky Deeky's resident tall guy, he and Alvon struck a cord with one another. Both down on their luck and armed with their impressive share of holy knowledge, they figured it was about time they put themselved to some good use. Forging and arming themselves with holyforms--shapeshifting relics made of holy energy that are grade-A for fighting off evil spirits-- these two knuckleheads team up as the living world's dual-defense against any demons that try to wreak havoc. They're like the Winchester brothers, only much less . . . unnaturally model-like.

( Even though you can't see it under his jacket, Johnny's suspenders are actually each a bunch of suspenders tied together. The struggles of being 9 feet tall.)

HEY LOOK, IT'S CHARACTERFEST

     As you might be able to infer from the title of this post, I may have completely spaced out and forgotten to advertise to you all a certain BiG HuGe sPeCiAl EvEnT that's been on the horizon for a while now. Put that one in the hall of shining examples of my nonexistent time management skills. But fear not. For while I did overshoot the date of said event amidst my preparation, there was preparation. Some quite dandy preparation, if I am so bold. And as for any gaps I've left in the event's schedule, I'm willing to pull out all the stops to fill. So, sit tight, folks. Because it's time for the flurry of all-day posting that I call the 3rd Annual Characterfest! Now, in the past I've always started off Characterfest with some rad tunes to get the energy levels a-rising, so I don't see why this year should be any different. So, ladies and gents, Bowling for Soup (and my childhood, to be exact)!

AS PROMISED feat. the Dark stinkin' Knight

     In the immortal words of a clown incredibly relevant to this post, I am a man of my word. So, ladies and gents, I give you the full-on 100% cinematic edition of my Batman fan-poster! Odds are I probably put way too much thought and energy into this puppy, but hey, I take my craft seriously. And in this particular case, that craft is producing realistic production jargon. PS, just for the record, the cast of my alternate Batfilm is as follows:

Michael Fassbender (Inglourious Basterds, X-Men, Prometheus) as Bruce Wayne/Batman
Ella Purnell (Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children) as Carrie Kelley/Robin
Mark Strong (Kingsman: The Secret Service, Sherlock Holmes) as Dr. Hugo Strange
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) as James Gordon
Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies) as Alfred Pennyworth
Rose Leslie (Game of Thrones) as Barbara Gordon/Oracle
Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Sons of Anarchy) as the Mutant Leader
Monica Raymund (The Good Wife, Chicago Fire) as Renee Montoya

#262: The Pixelites

     Howdy pilgrims and R.I.P. unsuspecting Meleagris gallopavo everywhere, because no matter what Target is trying to tell you, Christmas isn't here just yet. It's Thanksgiving time. Before October is too far gone, though, here's a link to the special animated header I made for Halloween, now that I've immortalized it on the Youtubes. Alright, I semi-promised you all a post explaining who the heck the Pixelites are. It's time to deliver. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you . . . well, the Pixelites. (Duh.) We humans have a tendancy to think we're super high-tech and awesome until we look back in a few decades and see that we weren't really that high-tech and awesome. Remember 30 years ago when we thought the future was now because we could make a big dot eat a bunch of smaller dots? Or 20 years ago when we thought we were the big cheese because we could make a plumber's disembodied head stretch nightmarishly? (Seriously, that stuff is Kafkaesque.) Well, as a wise man in a really bad movie once said, "there's always a bigger fish." And as far back as 200 years ago in the bustling Glimmorrian Starsystem, one such wopper of a fish was born. That fish was known as the Pixelite Party, and they had cracked the code to a little something called transpixelation. (Disclaimer: don't go expecting my 9th-grade self to get into the minutiae of how this was accomplished. Okay? Okay.) The Pixelites' founder, bona fide extraterrestrial Tesla Sa'Barritan Basslee, had found a way to bridge the gap between the digital and physical realm and render computerized creations right into the real world--all with a little device he called a Pixofield. This was all dandy, but the reigning powers of Glimmorrius weren't exactly jazzed, and feared that the senator's Enlightenment thinking would severly mess with their more medieval way of life. So, just like that, the Pixelites decided it was time to hit the road. Setting up shop on a barren nearby planet called Klex, the motley alliance of bright inventors, philosophical thinkers and other impressive Glimmorrian minds got to work, and within a century, had gone as far as to line the whole atmosphere with a massive Pixofield called the "Pixosphere." Beings from all across the system began joining them before they knew it, and now, Klex is the hub of the Glimmorrian, a trans-digital utopia where everyone is free to to partake in the high-res spectacles that the Pixelites are capable of rendering from thin air. So, next time we Homo sapiens think of something new to do with a dot or a plumber's decapitated noggin, think twice before y'all get up on your high horses.

(A modern member of the Pixelite Party in their traditional garb, including a fancy-pants pair of digitalized wings.)

SOME UPDATES (Feat. The Hero Gotham Deserves)

     Look alive, folks. One, I am working on something rather massive for All Hallows' Eve right now. Trust me, the wait will be worth it. Probably. Hopefully. Two, my view counter is going completely kerflooey right now, so please just turn the other cheek until we re-combobulate it. And three, Batman fan-poster:

("Full-on movie poster" variant coming soon once I'm done with that rather massive something.)

ABOUT THE JC-VERSE: THE GLIMMORRIAN STARSYSTEM

     First off, I'm deeply sorry if any of you jumped a foot when my spoopy scurry skele-songs™ started spontaneously blasting through your speakers. Cardiac arrest is, dare I say, too dark for the darkest month of the year. Mea culpa. Second, and mainly, today's post will be a little bit different than usual. May I proudly present the first post in the "About the JC-Verse" series! I realize that apart from the posse of consistent followers I have here (Sarah and Alistu, you know who you are), I get a LOT of new readers, and the continuity I've been weaving for the past 3 years isn't always so easy to follow. So, from now on I'll be dedicating these little one-shots to explaining the ins-and-outs of the ol' Jacob's Characterz! universe, so I don't have to re-explain things every gosh-dang post. Now, without further ado, let's start things off with a pretty pivotal JC-Verse location that I tend to name-drop a lot . . .

CLICK TO ENLARGE

The Glimmorrian Starsystem is one of the most populated and advance intergalactic spots in the whole JC-Verse. The place is honestly like someone took our solar system, doubled our sun, doubled our number of planets, and then through in an extra planet 50% off for good measure. It's practically the Chuck Norris of planetary systems. But enough gushing, let's get to know the heavenly bodies that make up this joint (which have ever-so-helpfully been numbered above):

• #1 & #2. The titular stars of the system, Ortar and Artox.
• #3. Crusa Kurala, literally translating to "dark planet." Instead of family-friendly H2O oceans like our own, this planet is covered in a peculiar pitch-black goo known as "Crutic." Some have hopped on the trend of harvesting Crutic for its medicinal properties.
• #4. Glimmorrius, the capital planet of the Glimmorrian Starsystem. This swirly little spot is one of the only four planets in the whole system to naturally bare life. The native Glimmorrians like to go about boasting that it was the first of those four to do so, but scientific research hasn't exactly backed that claim lately. Nevertheless, the planet-triotic buggers are still convinced.
• #5. Pugu, a dry lifeless planet with a moon called Toriton. It's recently found new life as a scientific outpost for a gaggle of advanced races across the starsystem.
• #6. Atarita, another lucky planet in that aforementioned lifebaring quartet. It has one central ocean that Ataritans make pilgrimages to annually. (Homeworld of the infamous bomb-diggity bandits Ashy Katorez and "Gameboy" Xones.)
• #7. Tribullus, not a planet made of delicious swiss cheese. In case you were wondering.
• #8. Briblee, #3 in the OG lifebaring quartet. Not exactly the most interesting local in the system given that it is essentially all marsh, nothing but marsh, twenty-marsh/seven. But all-and-all, it does have its charms. (It being the homeworld of megalomaniac Earth-invader and overall intergalactic dirtbag the Man is . . . not one of them.)
• #9. Tarula, another harvesting hotspot of the system due to the massive amount of valuable minerals in its crust.
• #10. Klex, AKA the high-tech posterplanet of the Glimmorrian Starsystem. It may not be quite so visible (what with the massive not-a-Death-Star lining its atmosphere and such), but this place was originally a barren, crimson-colored no-man's land. But then the rogue Pixelite Party split from Glimmorrius' resident republic and . . . you know, I'll just go ahead and save the rest of that for a character post I may or may not be working on. Just take my word for it, Klex is one crazy cool hangout.
• #11. Ekris, a crater-ridden colonial planet officially owned by The Republic of Glimmorrius.
• #12. Sarkitan, former home of Prolotus-Polis, a bustling empire founded by settlers from #15 that almost outgrew and out-stinking-rich'd every other government in the system. Nowadays it's the Glimmorrian's #1 supplier of just about every knick-knack, thingimajig, etc. an alien could fathom. (Original home of jolly ol' Xanta Klozz.)
• #13. Torril, oddly enough the only gas planet in the whole starsystem, and thus one of the only ones left uncolonized.
• #14. Drox, also not a delectable cheese planet. 
• #15. Papural, the frosty 4th member of the lifebaring quartet and the . . . most controversial. Recent probing done by the esteemed scientists of Klex have pointed to Papuralian life, as far and few as it is, being the true first life to spawn in the system . Naturally, that hasn't made the good people of Glimmorrius too thrilled. Long story short, welcome to the starsystem's most fuming debate. Read all about it in the next juicy tabloid you pick up at Pavilions, folks.
• #16. Tramillee, essentially an anomoly planet for hosting massive forests of flora despite being hecka freezing. Still too cold for any life, though.
• #17. North Berrr, another hecka freezing planet. Lies smack dab on what is known as the "Korikai Xhatel," AKA the "Dead Orbit," and is (mostly) way too harsh for settlement.
• Lastly, #18 and #19. Qibla and Xirr, also known as "te Vata" (the Twins). These two teeny tiny planets are almost indistiguishable in every way. They are theorized to have once been a single planet that got pulled apart in the formation of the system.

     Wooh. Alrighty, take a breather if you need it, because that was a lot of continuity even for myself. But while you do/don't do that, allow me to get into the semantics of how exactly all this crazy crud coexists together.

1. No, the planets aren't actually on one massive, swirling orbit on a firey collision course with their suns. It's an artistic interpretation, folks.
2. The Glimmorrian System has a good couple million years on our Solar System--which helps explain how its inhabitants pretty much had space travel down pat when we still thought the Sun was being hauled across the sky by a chariot.
3. While they may not be all on a gaint swirling death orbit, fun fact: every planet in the system shares their orbit with at least one other planet. Nice to see the powers-that-be were keeping with the buddy system in some of their earlier designs.

Now, before I bring this to a close, there's one last little snag I feel I need to cover (because if I don't, some Buster Brown with a master's degree in noticing plotholes will catch it): how can there be North, South, East and West quadrants of planets if those planets are constantly on the move? Well, as trivial as that question may seem in the long run, I've got an explanation. Friends, it's time for . . .

                                  CANON STORYTIME

     Many years ago, back when collective Glimmorrian society was a bit less knowledgeable, resident astronomers first mapped their cosmos kinda assuming the planets would all just stay where they were. And with spot-on logic in mind, they formed the "Pal, Pol, Pil and Pell" (North, South, East and West for us Earthlings) of the Glimmorrian Starsystem. Needless to say those astronomers eventually looked to the stars again and realized things had . . . swivelled around a tad. But after word got around and everyone agreed they had dun goof'd, out of their former ignorance was born a brand new prophecy: the Teshatoula, AKA "the Day of Alignment." On this occasion the planets of the system will align to reform their previously assigned niches, and the North, South, East and West will be "as the Great Being(s) intended them" once again. Beliefs of what will happen on the Teshatoula vary from planet to planet and religion to religion, but one thing is for sure: when it happens, everyone will go bananas. Cue the overused gif!

     Well, I think that little tale is a good spot to end this puppy on. Fingers-crossed you fine folks enjoyed this, and if you want to check back on this little series again in the future times, click the "About the JC-Verse" page towards the top of the screen. (Link isn't quite set up for that yet, but all in due time.) Until next time, when I may or may not be explaining who the Pixelites are and what exactly that not-a-Death-Star is. I'm Jacob, and I approve my own message. Hasta la pasta.