Hey, guys. My geeky comrade Elizabeth (AKA the Filminator) has finally returned after her 5 day disappearance. According to our system, by this point she should have been either eaten by a shark or captured by HYDRA. Nope, writing a 2,000-word-essay on Shakespeare and binge-watching Sherlock. Man, I was way off. Okay, here's my new character: Seth. (Zegatron was too flashy.) If you think he's a robot, stop right there. He finds that term "stereotypical." In fact, he's actually an Aluminum-Kaloonium alloy lifeform designed by scientists of the embarrassingly-acronymed agency UNDEROO. Engineered as a super-weapon against foreign threats - especially Japanese reptilian monsters - the oober-stretchy no-bot is on serious lock-down, waiting for a day where he will be needed. Domo arigato, Mr. Aluminum-Kaloonium alloy-lifeform-o.
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