BAD-OFF EPISODE VI: BATTLE OF THE GREENY MEANIES

Okay, guys. Now that the Man has bested Mr. Sinister Sideburns himself, the Impossible, it is time for ol' Bikar'Lek to take on a new Bad-Off challenger. Virus. I haven't seen such a green pair since I last looked at the many HulkYoda memes on the interwebs.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

BAD-OFF V: A VICTORY FOR SNA'RSLES EVERYWHERE

Hear ye, hear ye! People of the ever-expanding interwebs! A new Bad-Off champion has been crowned. Bikar'Lek of Briblee, but you know him as... the Man. I believe a victory song is required here. Hit it, Queen!

#154: The Incredible SnowMan!

After a successful several days of jolly posting, the 12 Characterz of Christmas comes to a close. Now, I feel it appropriate to end this thing with the freezing inhabitant of Winter: the snowman. Ladies and gentlemen ... the incredible SnowMan! It's always been said, "Heroes aren't born. They're made." And with this one, such a phrase could not have been taken more literally. Paul Shivers was once simply a snowman sitting in a backyard. But one Christmas Eve - that would be shrouded in legend - as Santa flew over the quiet neighborhood, a sprinkle of magic dust, property of the North Pole, fell upon Paul's head. Having gone all Frosty the Snowman on NoCal, he began to wander through the town on his now-moving feet, until he saw something he had never seen sitting lifeless in the backyard: a bank robber. Amazingly enough, he then witnessed a guy in a cape and spandex take him out, with wams, bams and pows firing on all cylinders. After that point, while other talking snowmen liked to parade with kids through the streets or wish they were in summer, Paul wanted to do something different: fight crime. Now living in his Fortress of Frozen-Solid-tude, he is SnowMan, the December Defender, fighting those who need to be fought. Any other snowman and the criminal gets away clean. Capitalize that S and M and you're done, sucka.

#153: Bells the Elfgineer

Today is the second-to-last day in my 12 Characterz of Christmas, and I've decided to start wrapping things up (accidental pun) with a character suggested by Materna-Tron. Ladies and gentlemen, Bells the Elfgineer! It would be a crime against Christmas to not include the elves, the miniscule workforce of the big guy up north, in this event, and this one happens to have one of the most important jobs an elf can have: Elfgineer. Someone has to design new sleigh models, calculate the right amount of magic dust for the reindeer to fly, etc. etc., and this elfin Einstein is perfect for the job. Equipped with such tools as hammers and candy canes, Bells is a vital gear in the Christmas machine. Never underestimate the power of a few screwdrivers and raw eccentricity.

#152: Rudolph The Rust Nosed Reindroid

Okay, guys. Here's a new Christmas-y character: Rudolph the rust-nosed reindroid. I already told you of the gift-giver of the galaxy, Xanta Klozz. But, as he had heard the tales of Old Saint Nick, Xanta had also heard stories of a reindeer with a nose of red, leading the way for the large man's sleigh. He decided he needed a Rudolph. So, with the various parts he found lying around in his workshop, Xanta constructed the brightly-schnozzed bot you see before you. The guy went all out. He even wrote him a song: 

 
♪ Rudolph the Rust-Nosed Reindroid
Had a very rusty nose
Maybe it was left in the rain long
Nobody really knows
His body's a half can of blorp juice
That Xanta got from the store
His saddle is made of fur from
the friendly pair of yetis next door

E-ver-y December he
Hooks up to the sleigh
And hyper-speeds across the stars
When you've got a reindroid, who needs cars?

He is the robot reindeer
Who's sniffer needs an oil can
He's Rudolph the Rust-Nosed Reindroid
If he can't do it, no one can! ♪

#151: The Ghost of Christmas Future (JC-Verse Edition)

Okay guys. It is time for me to wrap up A Christmas Carol: JC-Verse Edition with a bang: the Ghost of Christmas Future! This classic tale has always essentially been a time travel story. So, when it came time to make this ghost to end all ghosts, I decided to go full time travel. That's right, we're talking post-apocalyptic reality, people! Coming all the way from the 3000s, this Armageddon apparition ends the night by showing Scrooge his effect on the indubitably distant future. If he's mean, then his business protege is taught to be mean. Then his protege is mean, and so on and so forth. Then before you know it, along the series of jerks someone crosses the fine line between mean and evil, and boom. Serious world domination bizz. This sneak preview of society's destruction is the one to really knock some sense into Scrooge, sending him home with a desire to perk up big time. That's right. This Cyclops-spectacled spirit is the one to call. Which you can do with help from the Ghost of Christmas Present, by the way.

#150: The Ghost of Christmas Present (JC-Verse Edition)

Hey, guys. Last night, I watched the '80s gold that is The Goonies. Still trying to coach my dad into doing the Truffle Shuffle. He's trying to stick with no, but I'll break him. Okay, now it is time for another installment of A Christmas Carol: JC-Verse Edition: The Ghost of Christmas Present. So, what better way to represent the present than with the thing everyone has and can't put down. The ol' cell phone. After the Ghost of Christmas Past comes and does his thing most excellently, this iPhone apparition beeps and blips his way to Scrooge's house. This ghost has it all. A camera to take pictures along their journey, his homies up in Heaven on Speed Dial, you name it. Traveling instantly to locations through the "cloud," this Sir-voiced spirit is going to try to teach this guy the error of his ways. In the time before he runs out of charge, that is.

#149: The Ghost of Christmas Past (JC-Verse Edition)

Today, my friends, is my birthday!! I am now 13 years old, officially a teen. But just because I am, doesn't mean I have to act it. Cheers to childishness *clink*. Okay, now it's time for my next Christmas-y character: the Ghost of Christmas Past (JC-Verse style). A Christmas Carol is one of the most classic holiday tales to this date, having been done in every way from frighteningly-realistic- animated Jim Carrey to full-on Muppets. And thanks to some idea suggestions from my mom (Materna-Tron), I bring you a Ghost of Christmas Past representing the best piece of the past I know. That's right. '80s time, people. This totally tubular apparition has come from Beyond to our world for one purpose, besides moon-walking and telling everybody to not stop believing. That purpose is to teach one grumpy-pants in a nightcap to stop Bah-Humbugging all over Christmas. With a boombox held in his transparent hand, the Ghost of Christmas Past takes him to the days filled with florescence and legwarmers, and in which people's hair outweighed their bodies. If that can't make a guy cheer up, I don't know what can.

#148: The Gingerbread Man: Criminal Mastermind

Sorry for posting so late, you guys. Special apologies to the countries, if there are any, that are already to Friday and in which I have skipped a day. Okay, gotta get this one done quick: the Gingerbread Man: criminal mastermind. For more years than hairs that Santa has on his chin, the CIA has hunted one man, an unbeatable criminal genius. No, I'm not talking about Raymond Reddington. We're talking the Gingerbread Man, folks. After making his devious debut in the Confectionery Caper of '72, the cookie king of crime has been on the run, hiding out in local bakeries and posing as popular Shrek side-characters. Hunt me down as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm a cookie on the lamb.

#147: Hymie the Spinning Warrior

Hey, guys. I've done so many characters for Christmas so far, so why not change things up? That's right. Ladies and gentle-menches, I give you Hymie: The Spinning Warrior. Hanukkah, a special time of year where Menorahs are lit and, of course, dreidels are spun. But during Hanukkah, crime drops to a minimum. Criminals are found collapsed upon the ground with a Gimel sign on a sticky note stuck to their forehead. Who is this Hanukkah hero? This 8-day defender? His name is Hymie. He is a dreidel. Having honed his natural ability to spin like crazy through training, the Spinning Warrior hurls through the streets, giving people the gift of a safe Hanukkah. All the baddies run away when the Dreidel made of clay comes to play.

#146: Merry Marvin: The Wreath with a Face

Now that I've bookmarked making my "why Gravity Falls & Once Upon a Time are basically the same show" meme, here's my holly, jolly new character: Merry Marvin: the wreath with a face. You can probably assume that #100: Doug does Christmas a little ... different than the other folks. You would be correct. Enter Marvin, the enchanted, decently Dougified version of the ever-so-popular holiday decoration, the wreath. This leafy fellow can talk, and likes to do quite a lot of it come December when he's hung up. With a mouth that doubles as a portal to anywhere, he is the perfect Christmas addition to the mystical bear's seemingly infinite inventory. You should see how Doug does the Christmas tree. ♪ Oh, Christmas Groot, Oh Christmas Groot ♪

#145: The Abominables

Sorry for posting late today, guys. My time was devoured by the paper beast known as homework. Okay, now to continue with the 12 Characterz of Christmas. Ladies and gentle-elves, the Abominables! One unwritten rule of the ever-expanding universe is that if you are a kid and you aren't good, come December you're getting a big fat pile of coal in your stocking, courtesy of the big man himself. But one has to ponder: where does Santa get all this coal of his? Answer: from these furry fellas. The Abominables. They're the work staff of Old Saint Nick Coal Mining Co., a pivotal branch of Santa's Workshop. Always with pickaxes in their hands and yellow tinges on their teeth, Abominables have been responsible for making naughty tikes think twice for years. Such hard workers, these guys. They don't know the meaning of the word laziness! Or shower.

#144: The Nutcrackians

Time for post number dos in the 12 Characterz of Christmas: the Nutcrackians! Nutcrackers. They help you with your snack and they have hilariously over-sized mouths. But today we're not talking about the lifeless decorations of the holiday season. We're talking little living wooden guys from Mount Struginfloosh. Long ago, these creatures were unknowingly carved from Yonderpine, a mystical tree native to the snow-blanketed region. Once carved, the nutcrackers talked, walked, and even did some fancy-pantsy jigging. Terrified, the carvers darted away at the fastest of speed, leaving them alone in Struginfloosh. Then, after a long while of figuring things out, a leader was chosen, cabins were built, and BOOSH. The teensy Provence of Nutcrackia was born. Now, governed by Lord Almondsquash and his royal cabinet, the Nutcrackians live in peace, separated from the rest of society. And freed from the responsibilities of cracking nuts for humans, as stated in the Nut-nited States Crackstitution.

#143: Xanta Klozz: Giftgiver of the Galaxy

Happy holidays, everybody! I hope you're enjoying the blog's new jollytized look. Okay, here's the first post in the 12 Characterz of Christmas: Xanta Klozz! We, as humans, are so lucky to have such a rocking holiday season. But unfortunately, the rest of the universe doesn't have all the jingle bells and whistles that planet Earth gets every December. Or, at least they used to not have them. Before Xanta came to town. Once simply an alien from the East Glimmorrian System, he heard merry tales of a bearded man and his posse of tiny guys bringing something called "joy" to a whole planet. Fascinated, he knew he could do the same. Setting up shop on the freezing planet of North Berrr, he took the name Xanta Klozz and got to work, gathering all the things he needed from across the system: elves, reindeer, a record of all the naughty and nice folks, and toys. Lots of toys. Now, Old Saint Nebula whips through space in his U.F.S (Unidentified Flying Sleigh), bringing the thing called "joy" to aliens every December. Scaly Christmas to all, and to all a glorp night!

! JOLLY ANNOUNCEMENT !

Hey, guys. Dawn your most indubitably ugly Christmas sweaters and get ready, folks! Because Jacob's Characterz! is gonna be sketching the halls this holiday season with an awesome new tradition: the 12 Characterz of Christmas! From Dec. 13th until Christmas Eve, I'm going to be sending a new post your way every day, in the spirit of the season. There will be elves. There will be Yetis. There will be Dreidels. So, come one, come all, let's bring on the merry!

#142: Sea-Nova

SUPERSTAR!!!

Recently in science class, I learned about starfish and how exceedingly awesome the little guys are. So, I figured with all those shocking abilities of theirs, they would be perfect for one thing: fighting evil. So today, I give you Sea-Nova! Long ago in 2003, a mild-mannered starfish was plucked from his life under da sea and was placed in a top-hush-hush government program known as the Weapon A (for animal, of course) Project. After being injected, mutated, taken apart and put back together again for several years, the program was axed, leaving him a freak without a cause. Until he met them. The '05s. A superhero posse so odd that he was the norm. Equipped with the starfishy abilities of limb regeneration and animal regeneration, where he can generate clones of himself from lost limbs (NOT making this up!) along with the abilities to talk, breathe out of water and fight, Sea-Nova is one of the most powerful members of the '05s. Plus, he can stick to anything. Hey, villains! Try to complete your sinister scheme with a slimy hero tightly fastened to your face!

#141: NightOwl

Now that I'm done basking in the glory of my crush Gwen Stacy possibly returning to the current Spiderman flicks, here is my new character: NightOwl! One thing I've learned from my recent shopping at Walmart is that it is home to quite the cast of colorful characters. In homage to that, I give you Mitch Turley: more-or-less normal guy by day, grown man in a child's owl hoodie fighting crime by night. Walmart being his secret hideout, he brings a stop to local do-badders, equipped with his "Owl-Croozer" shopping cart and a crushing mass of fast-food-induced weight good for squashing evil. Bad guys beware. If you hear the Herby Hancock song "Rockit" playing followed by a loud HOOT, you're done.

NEW JUPPIES

I felt that the ol' Juppies (#8, 2013) needed some sprucing up. So, I present to you Juppies: swanky 21st century edition. You gotta look snazzy while shooting through the infrastructure of space and time at rapidly increasing speeds.

!ART!

A little animator's motivation for the day:

BAD-OFF EPISODE V: THE BLOGPIRE STRIKES BACK

                CLICK PICTURE TO ENLARGE
Okay. After a surprising victory for the sinister sideburned scientist, it is now time for the Impossible (Nathan Utterson) to take on UNDEROO's own the Man. The hippies will be backing Utterson, of that I am sure.

#140: The Red Masuka

I'm heading to go see Big Hero 6 in a bit, so I'll try and be quick. Ladies and gentlemen, the Red Masuka! As previously stated in #27 (2014), the bustling streets of Shmetro City are protected by the crime-fighting Kung-Fuser, Nunchuck. But if there's a crime-fighter, there must be crime to fight, yes? Well, that crime is the ninja gang, the Soy Boi Choy, and the Soy Boi Choy fight under the Red Masuka. Little is known about the mysterious master of maliciousness except that he is powered via his signature amulet. But from what we do know, we can conjure up one important fact: he's One. Bad. Dude. Interesting fact: he and Shredder from TMNT are friends on Chatbook.

#139: Fleaticus: The Warrior That Lives on My Dog

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May you all stuff yourself to the full extent of the law. Okay, now that the Characterfest buzz has died down, it is time for me to start posting again. Ladies and gentlemen, Fleaticus. The warrior that lives on my dog. If you are with your dog and you hear the faint sound of someone screaming "VIVA LA FLEA!," then you'll know. Know that he's there. The fiercest fighter south of your pooch's head. Fleaticus. Hailing from the Itchaco-Scratchico Empire, the bite-sized gladiator goes and conquers pets, growing his expanding list of conquests. (This little guy is actually based on a real flea on my dog, Blue, that is impossible to get rid of. The thing's a flat-out ninja.)

FAREWELL TO CHARACTERFEST

Okay, guys. We've had a day full of laughs. Full of art. Full of beards. But now, it is time for me to go and to shut down the fest. I would like to thank all of the awesome people that participated by viewing. France, you rock! Also, I'd like to send a special thanks to J.K. Riki, who commented. I hope you all enjoyed this flurry of crazy, and I wish you a great Thanksgiving week. Now, to end with my favorite end credits song of all time. Happy Characterfest, my people!

THE MUSTACHE NINJA'S DISASTERPIECE #3

Time for the grand finale. A drawing from the days of our childhood. And possibly the weirdest interpretation of me I've ever seen.

THE MUSTACHE NINJA'S DISASTERPIECES #2

Here is another odd art piece courtesy of the Mustache Ninja. It used to be a failed prototype of one of my comic book pages. Then the sister came. Now the moon has a stache.

#138: Captain Foambeard

HALLOWEEN  VERSION

JC-VERSE VERSION

Okay, time for another Characterfest character: Captain Foambeard! The seven seas have never seen a pirate quite like him. A foam hook has he. A foam hat has he. Even some foam facial hair has he. Not many pirates have the capability of soaking up all the water leaking into the boat with their body. To that Foambeard says ha! The super-absorbent swashbuckler and his crew sail across the oceans blue, plundering booty (and the occasional candy as exhibited by my Halloween costume. I stayed in character all night, going up to skeletons and zombies and saying "dead men tell no tales." A grand occasion it was.)

SOPHIE ART

I present to you a picture drawn by my whackadoodle of a friend, Sophie. Very important note: this is not my work.

#137: The Inquisitaco

Sorry for vanishing for a little bit. I tried making a second Happy Magic short and sadly failed. But now I am back and ready to introduce you to a revival of the Food Wars collection. Ladies and gentlemen, the Inquisitaco! During the period in the Food Wars galaxy when the Rebellyum was growing with help from sugary rebel Pezra, there was a mysterious Mexican-food menace within the Spudpire: the Inquisitaco. Wielding the fanciest, craziest looking forksaber credits can buy, the fiend had been tasked by Darth Tater himself to get rid of the Jedi leftovers throughout the galaxy. (It would be much easier for the rebels to defeat him if they just called in #91: Zowie Cowy. Read her post and you'll understand what I mean.)

#136: Doragon

Okay, here's a new Characterfest post: Doragon (dun dun DUUUN). Long ago in Japan, an average guy named Akio Fujimoto ended up in a cave and found a mysterious glowing diamond. (Don't worry, folks, it's about to get a lot weirder.) He then preceded to touch it. Word to the wise: when in the JC-Verse, do not touch anything described with the words "mysterious," "glowing" and "diamond" all together. But of course, this guy was in ancient Japan, way before there were blogs to give you helpful advice. After making contact with it, the stone attached to him and Akio became possessed by the evil Doragon Spirit! After the Ancient Order of the Bamurai got the spirit back into the diamond, it was hidden where no one could possibly find it. At least until the 21st century. Now, the Doragon has found a new host, terrorizing the masses and fighting the kung-fuser himself #27: Nunchuck. It's kinda like a mash of the symbiotes from the Spider-Man comics and Mushu from Mulan. Disturbing but true.

THE MUSTCACHE NINJA'S DISASTERPIECES #1

Okay guys, as part of Characterfest, I have decided to post a few drawings from my sister, the Mustache Ninja. This one is probably the weirdest so it gets to go first. "Gone with the Wind (Because They're so Tiny)" is a story of two munchkins soon to be wed. But, given they are such a small species indeed, the bride, Trishandra, is carried away in a breeze. It is then up to the groom, Chadwick, to travel across mountains high, valleys low, and brick roads yellow to retrieve his true love from the fiend that is wind. Mustache Ninja also said there are cowboys and aliens in there somewhere, but I don't really know how that fits in.
                                 
                      "Wherever you blow, I will find yooouu!" -Chadwick the Munchkin.

#135: The Sinister Mr. FluffyBeard

I said there was gonna be beards. I did not lie. Straight from the mind of my braids-wearing partner in geekdome Elizabeth Johnson, here's my new character: the sinister Mr. FluffyBeard! Don't let his name fool you, he's extremely dangerous. But behind all good villains is a back-story. Just a few months ago, this face-follicled felon was simply a musician with dreams of topping the charts. But after being rejected on popular singing competition show, So You Think You've Got "It", he was so devastated that he didn't know what to do. Until he found the suit. A fancy suit. A suit that gave him the capability to demolish the very population that swiped "no" on him. With evil thoughts on his  mind and Halloween costume paint on his face, FluffyBeard was unstoppable by all. At least until he got his gluteus maximus kicked by the Jaded Ferrets. But, you know, little details. (PS, this guy was inspired by Will Roth on Rising Star, just so you know.)

STRAIGTH FROM THE JC-VERSE #12

(See #88, 2014.)

#134: Rubis the Rubix

Okay, time for the next installment in Characterfest: Rubis the Rubix! The hard-to-master Rubix Cube has become an ever-so-recognizable piece of our pop culture. It's confusing, fun and, best of all, it's from the '80s. But they don't talk. Or walk. Or burst into disco dance shindigs. So unfortunate. But as per-ushe in the JC-Verse, one single cube does all those things. And his name is Rubis. From the moment he was assembled for the Christmas season of 1985, it was obvious Rubis had a gift. No pun intended. But like with many others, such as Frankenstein and the X-Men, his differences were not accepted. After years of being passed from person to person via garage sales and such, the lonely square finally landed with a natural acceptor of all weirdness. Doug. Now hanging with the bear as part of his lively inventory of knick-knacks from across the universe, Rubis feels like he finally belongs. (The name of this character is courtesy of my sister, the Mustache Ninja. I came up with other names, but she wouldn't budge. I commend her on her persistence.)

He's totally cube-ular!

#133: The See Monster

It begins. Ladies and gentlemen, our first Characterfest character, the See Monster! For many centuries, people of the Old Norse region have heard terrifying tales of a multi-pupiled ocean beast know as the See Monster. First spotted in the 900s by amazingly mustached Scandinavian viking Vindell Yorkerstav, word of the dangerous creature spread across the region. With constantly multiplying eyes surveying the waters for prey, the See Monster lurks around to this day, ripping up ships and making the giant squid look like a rubber ducky. (This character is a reflection of my love of myth creatures, like Nessy and Big Foot. A glimmer of hope that the world isn't completely normal.)

CHARACTERFEST BEGINS!

Hello, people of the interwebs! As you can probably tell from the zero time left on the Countdowninator, today is Characterfest! (Imaginary applause.) Today will be a joyous celebration of absolute weirdness, filled with many bloggy surprises. I don't want to spoil anything, but there will be beards. Okay, let's get this thing started! Click the video below for a proper anthem:

IMPORTANT BULLETIN!!!

Hey, guys. I know I haven't been as frequent post-wise lately, so to make up for it I am making a proclamation. This Saturday is the first annual Characterfest, a holiday for all wacky enough to take part! Characters! Guest artists! Straight from the JC-Verse! And other random oddities to brighten and sufficiently weirden your otherwise average day! Multi-fonted, Photoshop-made poster, tell them more!

#132: Super Little Cape (Golden Age Edition)

Hey, guys. My sincerest apologies for disappearing like that, I was waiting for the supplies to make a specific character. But fear not. I am back and ready to share with you a character inspired by one of my favorite comic book eras. Ladies and gentlemen, Super Little Cape, Golden Age edition! As I show you today, the olden days of superheroes, one chock-full of phone booths and spandex, also had a Super Little Cape (see #125). This one happened to be Thomas Terry, mild-mannered, dippy-do-haired resident of Whamopolis, Washington. After being laid off by his newspaper employers, the Whamopolis Jabber, he found himself chosen by the mystic cape itself to protect the protectable. After that, he was Super Little Cape, flying over the Whamopolis streets and fighting such dastardly dudes as the Martian Master and Chillzo. He also won back his news column at the Jabber! You know the Man of Steel? This guy's the Man of Spiel.

#131: Ferdinand Magellan (JC-Verse Edition)

Time for another installment from the brightly-colored haven of craziness known as my friend Sophie's mind. Ladies and gents, Ferdinand Magellan! I know. Ol' Ferdinand already existed. But this is the JC-Verse version, and you have to know by now that whatever is in the JC-Verse is 193 times weirder than the same thing in our universe. Real math, people. This Magellan didn't just stop at the seas of Earth, no. He went all-out. That's right. He was an inter-dimensional traveler. After getting tossed into the infinite BEYOND... BEYOND... BEYOND, the cartoonishly flamboyant explorer of the sea took off with his crew and began his circumnavigation of the universe, meeting several E.T.s, including #127: Ozbald of Wuzzlemoo. His current whereabouts is unknown, but my guess is chilling like a villain with Captain Jack Sparrow. A friendship made in Heaven.

HAPPY B-DAY, PAMPA!

Today is the 83rd anniversary of the day the world got just that more awesome. That's right, today is my Pampa's birthday and I wanted to do something special for it. So, without further ado, I give you Pampafest.

BAD-OFF CAMPAIGN COMMERCIAL: THE IMPOSSIBLE

Looks like the Bad-Off poll just got real.

"EGOEY"

Here's an "Egoey" straight from Doug's Twitter. I tried to tell the furry fellow it's called a selfie, but he wouldn't budge. Something about "not submitting to the will of the youngins."

#130: Mixberry

Finally! Toy Story 4 is coming to theaters in summer 2017!!! Huh, looks like the Muppets were more-or-less right. Okay, after a few months of Marvel-esque creations, I've decided to return to my roots with an old-fashioned comedic post. Here's my new character: Mixberry! The JC-Verse is home to a large populous of talking food. I would give quite the reason, but telling the tale of a celestially-powered cook feels like more of a Saturday thing. But while some of these living meals find themselves in the Food Wars Universe or telling lively religious tales on television, others find themselves with a different purpose: bustin' out some dope tunes. Enter Mixberry. First growing onto the scene in 1994 with his hit, "Sweet-n-Sour (Fight the Power)," this bite-sized beatmaster has dominated the charts with songs such as "Ice Ice Berry" and ''Fruit! They're It Is." (I dedicate this post to my 1990s time-capsule of a cousin Jared. A pure example of the fact that growing up is only an option. Props, dawg!)

#129: Jillajones Skeltie

For all of you who are on Twitter, I would like to point that character #100, Doug, has just recently begun his account. If you could check it out and follow the guy, that would be ducky. Okay, sorry I'm posting my Halloween character the day after, but better late than never. Ladies and gentlemen, Jillajones Skeltie! Down in the hoodoo voodoo hodgepodge that is New Orleans, people at Halloween time come with the thoughts of big, scary ghouls flying around in their heads. Pretty pathetic, really, considering they're all freaked out over creatures that look like this heel-clicking fellow below. Living in Spaggleworth Manner with the rest of his apparition pals (including the oh-so-familiar Ghoulman), Skeltie is the large group's leader and a happy little snappy-dressed one at that. Fun fact: in our universe, Jillajones is a stuffed toy I got in a claw machine when I was a mere Jakeling. I just looked at the guy when I got him and thought, "I will name him Jillajones Skeltie!" Even I wonder how that name came about in my head. I was/am a strange child.

#128: Anticape

Sorry, guys! I could not apologize enough. I did not know about International Animation Day until it was over, but I will try to make up for it with some Walt. "Animation can explain whatever the mind of man can conceive" -Walt Disney. Or in this case, the mind of 12-year-old. Speaking of, here's my new character: Anticape! I've told you of the 2014 Super Little Cape, I told you of the 1980s Super Little Cape, now I tell you the unfortunate tale of Rider Zain, the 1960s Super Little Cape. I know the '60s is usually the decade of which we try to forget, but this is important. Once simply an orphan from Pizeezle, California, Zain came upon the mystic cape when it shot through his window and clonked him in the thinker. Once he came back to consciousness, he accepted the job. But unfortunately, the cape can make you a superhero, but it can't make you a good guy. After using his powers to severely hurt a group of robbers, he was stripped of his cape and went kookoo-bananas. Now using a duplicate cape called Darkgarment, he has declared war on all future Super Little Capes and has become the raging fiend Anticape! Phew! Great Master Yoda's ghost, that was a mouthful. Well, post-full.  

BAD-OFF: ROUND IV

Congrats to the elastic ol' bean, the Impossible, for winning the latest BAD-OFF! Now, he takes on Griefer: 8-bit baddy and foe of SkyStar. All of us who've sat for millennia attempting and failing to win the boss battle on a video game feel ya, Impossible. We feel ya.

                          CLICK TO ENLARGE

#127: Ozbald of Wuzzlemoo

I'd like to first point out that the idea for the following character is brought to you courtesy of my purple-clad, 5th-grade oddity of a friend, Sophie. Ladies and gentlemen, Ozbald of Wuzzlemoo! Amongst the rolling mauve hills and rubbery flora of the distant planet Wuzzlemoo, you would assume things couldn't get any weirder. Then you look down. And you realize a tiny blonde Wuzzlemese fellow is curiously poking away at your foot with his tiny staff. That, my friend, is Ozbald. Living among his fellow Wuzzlemesians in a large hollow tree, the blue chief wanders around, gathering food and items for his people and sporting the latest in trashed NASA technology on his staff. (Read post #72 and you will perfectly understand how such a strange creation could come out of Sophie's head.)

"LOOK SIR, DROIDS!"

I met a few celebs today...

#126: SkyStarreo

Okay, here's my new(ish) character: SkyStarreo! For the time when the console game crusader SkyStar was fighting the Doom Lord ZOO'OZ with the Mythlihood, the good avatars of the Virtuality assumed he had been ixnayed. So, for SkyStar's best buddy, Areo, this meant someone had to slap on that suit and carry on the persona like Avi would've wanted. And SkyStarreo was born. But as most of you probably know from Nickelodeon's Planet Sheen, giving the comic relief the role of protagonist is never successful. Equipped with highly advanced tech and just about as much knowledge of how to use it as a stereotypical TV-show parent, he flew through the pixelated skies as Avi's anime replacement. That's right, people. He Bucky Barns'd it.

#125: Super Little Cape (1988)

Now that I've stopped listening to to the catchiness of Panic! At The Disco - "Ready 2 Go" from The Smurfs for the bazillionth time, I will post a new character: Super Little Cape! I know. Déjà vu. But what I didn't tell you in #124: Super Little Cape is that Dean Zeckler was not the first person to dawn the small, super-powered costume accessory. In fact, for over 1,000 years, the Cape has been past down by various wearers to fight evil in various galaxies and dimensions. It just so happens that today, we'll learn of wearer #12, Theo P. Binson. Yeah, people. He's from the '80s. Back in said super rad decade, Binson was feeling like the biggest loser at Leroy Academy. But that ol' fun-sized garment has a way of finding people who sure as heck need it. After being chosen, Binson slapped on that cape and began defending New York (it's always New York) with his totally tubular powers and excellent purple do. He actually had to save the life of my previous character Fresh McCoy once. Fresh did the robot in front of a real robot. Groups were offended, lazers were shot and afros were fried.

#124: Super Little Cape

Yesterday was my mom's side's family reunion. I got new blog fans out of my cousin Zach and Uncle Matt, ate some rocking pizza dip, got a random lecture from my Aunt Marlene on the dangers of tattoos, and got a bunch of cheesy My Little Pony songs stuck in my head thanks to my cousin Kate. I call the day an overall win. Anyhow, here's my new character: Super Little Cape! Who is he, you ask? A superhero with a little cape. Imagine that. But not just any superhero with a little cape. He's Dean Zeckler, scrawny 8th grader and indubitably mild-mannered resident of Philly. But that all changed one day when he was given a mystical cape from a balding stranger, turning him into a high-powered fighter of do-badders! Now, he is the boy, the myth, the little-garment legend... Super Little Cape! (I actually came up with this character when I was about 8. It's Throwback Thursday, yo! But, you know. On a Sunday.)

STRAIGHT FROM THE JC-VERSE #11

   (#118, 2014.)

#123: Virus

I have been personally waiting for a post with this production number. Sometimes, you just gotta enjoy the simple things. Now, here's my new character: Virus! At a point, everything was hunky-dory in the world of the Virtuality. Both sides were at peace, SkyStar was realm-famous, Griefer was long-gone and comic relief Areo was enjoying the luxurious life of being famous by association. Then, family came to town. That's right, the snarling glowing avatar you see below is Jaskle Tanaru, SkyStar's brother whether he likes it or not. Coming from the same code as Avi with the addition of wanting to destroy the Virtuality as we know it, he is truly the most perfectly-matched foe of the console game crusader. Other nicknames for him include glow-stick, neon nuisance, blue screen of death, so-on and so-forth and what have you.

#122: Grand Ronacc: The Avatar with a Clipboard

I am totally geeking out over the LEGO Batman film coming out in 2017! There's just something about that hilariously egotistical DC minifigure that the world can't get enough of. The rise of the LEGO Cinematic Universe is upon us and I love it. Anyway, time for my new character: Grand Ronacc. It wasn't long ago that I posted #118: Emperor N00by. Well, considering what I've told you of him, it's obvious some poor avatar has to take on the job of talking some sense into the guy. Well, some poor avatar did. His name is Ronacc. (Oddly enough, it's a very common name in the Virtuality. Even odder, they consider John off the rails.) Always with a clipboard in hand and a mustache on face, the sensible shorty has been the servant and - not so successful - conscience of N00by for over a hundred years (which perfectly explains where all Ronacc's hair went.) I have personally cast The Princess Bride's Wallace Shawn as his voice actor in my head. Inconceivable!!!